雅思培训在线作文老师 要考试了,求雅思作文批改老师一枚,急! ?

下面以剑桥模拟题第五套Test two Task one 为例，看看小作文的写作内容。
The first bar chart compares the percentage of reasons for study according to age of students, while the second one indicates the percentage of employer support by age group in terms of time off and help with fees.
As can be seen clearly, there is a gradual decrease with age in study for career, decreasing from as high as 80%, the top, under 26 to short of 20% of those over 49. In stark contrast, the percentage of students studying for interest increases steadily/ significantly from 10% for the youngest to 70%, the peak, for over 49 group, over three times of that of study for career. It is noticeable that the two motivations draw even at 40% for 40-49 year olds.
It is apparent that the youngest age group under 26 receives the most support from their employers, at approximately 60%. However, this sponsoring reduces *oothly to the bottom at roughly 30% of the middle age 30-39, before ascending remarkably to 41% again for those over 49.
In conclusion, it is likely that young people mainly study for career so they get the more support from their employers. （189 words）

从上面可以看出，第一段通常是直接点题，改写题目就可以了。主体通常分为2-3段，主要是数据的描述和比较，如果是两个图的话，一图一段就可以了；如果是单图的话，需要按照比较的层次进行分段。最后一段对图表进行总结或总的概述就可以了。

推荐环球青藤论坛雅思写作批改哦，这是之前环球青藤的老师给我的写作批改：
Thegivenlinegraphandtable?givedataon?thenumber?ofoverseasvisitorstravelingtoAustraliainmillionsofpeoplefromtheyear1975to2005?andshows?[注意主谓一致问题，主语是Thegivenlinegraphandtable，谓语应该用show?]thenumberoftravelersfrom6differentpartsoftheworld.<!--?xml:namespaceprefix="o"/-->
Asispresentedinthelinegraph,in1975,8.8millionforeignvisitorstooktripstoAustraliaandthisnumberincreasedsteadilyeachyear.?In2005,thenumberoftravelersreached30.4million[本句中which引导代指前半句话的内容，建议用逗号隔开，非限制性定语从句?]?whichisalmost?twicea*uchasthenumberofvisitorsin1975[1975年人数为8.8million，2005年人数30.4million，是1975年的两倍？远远不止两倍，信息错误?].
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Thetablegivesthelargestnumberoftourists,?whichi*orethan3millionJapanesevisitors,comingfromJapan?in1975[一般不用“gives”表示图表“显示...”。前面已经提及是Japanesevisitors,后面无需再提到comingfromJapan，信息重复?].Furthermore,in2005,thisnumberoftouristsfromJapanreached12millionwhichcontributed?one-thirdofthetotaltouristsofthisyear[信息需更加准确，占游客人数的三分之一，one-thirdofthetotal?numberofthe?touristsofthisyear?].?SouthKoreahasthesecondhighestnumberofvisitors?comingtoAustraliabothin1975andin2005with2.9millionand9.1milliontravelersrespectively.?ThefollowingcountriesofEurope,Britain,andUSAobtaineda?decentnumberoftourists[建议补充具体的数据或者对比，概念不清晰?]?inboth1975and2005comparedwiththetotalnumberofvisitorsinJapanandSouthKorea.However,Chinesevisitorsarethelowestinnumberamongthesixregionswithonly0.8millionin2005.
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Insum,thenumberoftotaltouristswhocametovisitAustraliaincreasedsteadilyandthehighestnumberoftouristcamefromAsia,specificallyfromJapanandSouthKorea.

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