雅思英语作文暑假培训 谁可以帮忙修改英语作文啊?(雅思的)

雅思的作文一直都是很多人的短处，除了家喻户晓地背，怎样才能达到高分作文呢?下面和一起来看看雅思考试英语作文怎么写，如果想知道，不妨接着往下看。
1. 观点
观点是考查确定问题类型的过程。读完问题后要做的第一件事就是形成你自己的观点。
有些题目是同意/不同意，也有其中一些是双边讨论，给出两种相反的观点，然后去讨论并给出自己的意见。首先需要的是一个明确的立场。同时，也需要基于你所处的立场获得一个充分发展的位置，一个充分展开的观点。
2. 分段
根据你的观点，把你的文章分成几个段落。确定每个段落的核心内容和主体。
分段的要求是如何在评分规则中体现?高分的文章对分段都有这样的评语巧妙地管理分段，指的是段落流畅的写作技巧。
拿到一篇文章，在同样的角度你可以想出多种合理的分段方法，并且在此基础上可以选择一种感觉新意，巧妙的分段方法。
大家都要注意的另一个对分段的要求就是分段充分求合理，也就是说，一定要在写作过程中杜绝分段不充分的现象。分段不充分是把太多的想法挤在一段中。四到五个段落应该足以让你的观点被理解。确保每一段只有一个中心思想。
3. 逻辑
英语是一种很有逻辑的语言，所以句子和段落之间的衔接非常重要。
段落之间的逻辑是以逻辑段落为基础的。考虑段落的逻辑，然后要寻找使段落之间的过渡更自然的方法。要确保段落和段落、句子和句子都能有逻辑、无缝衔接。
4. 语言
在完成前三个任务后，会发现你脑海中的出现是一个完整的中文版本的文章，或一个有基本单词的英文结构。接下来就是组织和润色这门语言。
词汇方面的评分标准需要具有广泛的不同的词汇用法和结构。也要使用不寻常的词汇，表达或搭配。
还要注意词汇和语法的准确和灵活，以便可以更准确和更灵活地使用词汇和语法。说话时不要太死板或机械。向考官展示你的语言运用情况。

区别就是难度，雅思作文应该是语言类考试里面最难的，个人来看难度高于托福更不用说国内英语考试。 雅思变态的地方是他不光看语言还看逻辑，而托福则不怎么看逻辑，更容易“套路”。 雅思写作想要上7，7.5是非常困难的，比托福28+难。

就语法而言，很多国内考试会倾向于给那些写了虚拟语气、被动、倒装、分词等学生高分，不管是不是语法使用是否合理和恰当，但是雅思考官就不认这些，他们只认可地道和准确的作文。复杂句不是写了就给分，要写对、而且还要适合语境才可以给分。

关于内容：

国内很多考试的题目比较简单，没有什么太大的陷阱，学生只要字数写够，内容重复甚至不相关都问题不大，肯定能考过。

而雅思如果你审题不对，题目某个部分你没有理解或者直接忽略，你的分数都很难上6，更加不要说7，背素材一旦被考官看出，也会受影响。

很多表达中国学生耳熟能写，必写的，譬如说social harmony, social stability,  improve qualities, physically and mentally healthy，等等，在雅思考试都会认为是论述不够。

请问下你这篇文章准备拿多少分，现在这个答案从任何角度来看都足够8分水平，应该已经足够了吧

简单提些小意见，仅供参考，有些纯粹是个人说话习惯，人跟人也有分别，大可看看而已

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优点

1.辞藻丰富，用词准确
2.开场白，两方论点，总结，条理清晰明了
3.句法严禁，语法普遍准确

缺点

1.某些地方仍然有中式思维的残留，只挑一个例子来说

We, human beings, have mercy on these kinds of crimes and everyone could understand and allow certain variations existing.

allow certain variations existing明显是“允许一些变通存在”的直翻，(个人认为)更通顺的写法应为

We, human beings, SHOULD have mercy on these kinds of crimes. We SHOULD show our understanding(s) and allow the existence(s) of certain variations.

2.语法错误

The ultimate objective that making the society better off as a whole, should be reminded all the time.

The ultimate objective that makes (aims to make) the society better as a whole, should be reminded at all time.

better of个人觉得不应该用在这种语境里吧，只是个感觉，请查有关文章对比用法

3.显示出一些小小的文章个性

遵守文章结构当然会为考官带来不少的方便，但以你的水平来看，足以在此基础上显示一些个人的才华，你的能力应该绰绰有余，充分的表现下自己么，呵呵

开场白，放松一些，不需要完全转换原题，显得会有些生硬，自然点就好
两方论点比重，既然反方有两个例子，正方（fairness方）不能什么都没有。这个题当然有自己的倾向,但文章要自己掌握住

有自己的想法，完全可以在总结里面提出，In my own opinion, 两句话，之后结尾

4.正反都有自己的优缺点，要支持的同时简单提一句反驳，但不要和另一方论点雷同

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最后祝考试顺利，个人认为完全不必要把精力放在写作上了，把其他部分拉倒8分水平就好了

The bar chart shows during 1950 to 2000 the population of China,the USA and Spain with the projected population figures for 2050. As the graph shows that China has the largest population overall, for instance in 1950 China will have the population of 700 milion, however,the USA has only 200 million people, and even in Spain there were(我不懂为什么要用过去时呢，and 是并列连词，and 的前和后时态应该一直) just 30 million. After the next 50 years, China will still have the largest population of 1200 million,the USA will have the population increases(难道人口会“被增长”吗) to 300 million, Spain will raise to 30 million. Whatever, projected population of China in 2050 will be 1500 million, the fastest growth in those countries.The USA gets the constant raises of 100 millions to 400 millions. However, Spain decreases its population to 35million.
The table shows the information of the life expectancy of these three countries from 1950 to 2000, and the projected figures for 2050. Shown on the table, although China has the largest population but it has the lowest life expectancy, around 70.The USA has the highest life(这里的life是指什么呢？生命的话就应该用复数！但如果是生命，前面的形容词又应该用什么~？你想想吧) expectancy during 1950 to 2000, but it will be 3 less then Spain at the year 2050.
问题不大，主要是美国是the USA,有定冠词，修饰人口population用large或*all~还有定语的使用====

Life for children
What are the different（用名词！differences） between rich children and normal children? Some people might think rich children are born with wealth, and spoiled they get everything easy without pay. Normal children who live in a less rich family will have more chance（复数！） to experience the society and （be动词要用！）more likely to have the skill to survive. However, my opinion is （改成In玛雅opinion看起来会有水平一点）rich（名词！或者being rich） does not mean of spoiled and will be weak in the society.
Nowadays, richer families are become more serious（严重的？严肃的？） in the education for their children. they start to give them the best circumstance to study, and encourage their children to get into the society. Due to （due to= because of，后面加名词，不加句子！！！！！！！！！！！！这里如果你要表达“因为”的意思，用because）they are rich they might meet many kind（复数！） of people from （介词加句子难道您不觉得怪么~？句子前+that！）they were young. For instance, we could see there are so many parties between the rich, so children will （be动词！）likely to come with their parents and start to know how to face different kind of people. What is more, from the news we can easily to（情态动词后面加不定式~？？？没见过……） find out some rich children’s pocket money is less than the children who come from normal families, even rich children will be sent to the military school to experience the hard situations. Although there are normal children in less money families they could also be spoiled, from the news we can see there were many not rich children *, just because there got hurt from teachers or parents.
Even there are many rich people would like to train their children to be strong in the society, there are still some spoiled rich child（前面用了are这里应该用复数） in the world. Living under the money their parents earns without any realization of life.
In conclusion, life is not easy, （在没有连词的情况下这样的俩句子应该用句号隔开！）both rich and normal children need to be recognized. Rich does not mean weak in surviving in the society, also poor does not mean （be动词!!!!!!!!!being!!关于mean的用法，如：Being late means being punished！迟到意味着受惩罚，注意Being动词！）strong.

辛苦你了
也累坏我了…………………………