出国培训雅思作文老师评语 5.5分雅思大作文如何逆袭6.5分

原创：环球教育徐秀秀老师

自2021年10月以来，雅思写作大作文的考题似乎出的不再那么有规律了。此前，大多数题是从亚太区2021年题库中出题，但是10月以后的出题来源似乎有点看不懂了……

10月后写作出题来源

出题来源比较杂乱，所以很难做出比较准确的预测。但是，只要考生精准地抓住考官评分标准，那么也能高枕无忧，自信面对雅思写作。

很多考生都见过雅思评分标准那张0―9分的表格，究竟放到一篇雅思写作中，这个表格中的内容又意味着什么？每个分数段的得分点和需要提高的点又在哪里？

以下表格收集整理展示了剑桥雅思真题书后考官针对各个分数段评语跨3.5―7分。各位考生可以针对考官的评语，根据自己目前的水平找到自己的不足和强项，精准地备考雅思写作。

具体的文章分析如下：

雅思考题：Cambridge 7 Test 4

Somepeople think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge andskills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of auniversity should to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless ofwhether the course is useful to an employer.

What,in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

5分大作文展示

考官评语【中文翻译】

TR：这个答案不超过250个单词，没有达到所有要求，所以会扣分。考生也提出了一些相关的看法和立场。

CC：文章思路和结构也清晰，但是，考生在分段时并不总是合乎逻辑。连接词用的不错，但是词的引用和替换的缺乏，有很多重复。

LR：大量的词语重复(knowledge and skills“重复9次”)也表明考生词汇量有限，尽管除了使用标题中给出的词汇，还有足够的额外词汇来写。

GRA：文章想使用复杂的句型，但这些句子显得比较死板硬套，往往需要读两遍才能理解。

雅思考题：Cambridge 12 Test 5

Somepeople believe that it is good to share as much information as possible inscientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that someinformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Discus*oth these views and give your own opinion.

6分大作文展示

考官评语【中文翻译】

TR：尽管对“shared freely”这一术语有一些误解，但考生在文中回应到了所有信息。题干中提及的每一部分内容在文中均有展示，但是并没有对这些想法进行过多展开，尤其是商业领域有关共享的想法。

CC：行文清晰，并且考生在最后提出了自己的意见，但在衔接方面有一些错误，比如[working there on out ofthis | which scientist]。

LR：所用词汇适用于该任务，但在词语的选择上如[actual | releases]和拼写[govenment | limite | theme | loose]方面存在一定的错误。

GRA：文中既有简单句也有复杂句，并且使用相当精准：语法错误几乎不会对文意理解造成阻碍。

雅思考题：Cambridge 11 Test 3

Somepeople say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order totravel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the onlyreasons why someone should learn a foreign language.

Discus*oth these views and give your own opinion.

7分大作文展示

考官评语【中文翻译】

TR：题目的所有部分都得到了处理，并在整个回应中给出了一个清晰的立场。主要思想得到扩展和支持。

CC：想法是有逻辑组织的，并且在整个响应过程中有一个明显的进展。灵活运用衔接手段，每一段都有明确的中心主题。

LR：词汇足以提供一定的灵活性和精确性，尽管有一些拼写错误，但这些错误不会影响响应的整体清晰度。

GRA：各种复杂结构的应用具有一定的灵活性和准确性。语法和标点符号控制得很好，句子基本没有错误。

通过上述分析，得出雅思写作考官主要从以下四个方面评分：

1. 扣题�C 回应题目中所有的关键词 & 论证展开；

2. 逻辑 �C 段落分布，连接词，关系词等；

3. 词汇 �C 词汇丰富度，词性，单词拼写等；

4. 语法- 句式结构的丰富度，语法准确性，标点符号，大小写等。

那么，想要取得雅思写作高分的考生们就忘这些方向去努力，严格要求自己吧！

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本人雅思7分，多次给教授翻译专业论文。有点小建议，希望你能接受
第一段：
perform改成are running
educated改taught
in my opinion改成from my own perspective
own改成have
advantage & disadvantage 改成 merit &demerit
第二段：
一开头There are改The
你的A first advantage我是实在没看明白你想说啥....
第三段：
good or bad改 well or poor
type后面加个s
fit后面加able或者直接把fit改suitable

关于写作：
1.高中水平的话能写成这样已经很不容易了，尤其是连词和选择和多样性。不过有些时候有的句子其实可以不用连词的。。
2.不知你这篇题目是问to what extent do you agree or disagree还是what's your opinion。如果是前者的话最好把正反观点各分一段写，后者的话除了各用一段写正反观点外还要专门的一段写自己的立场。

推荐你看看《十天突破雅思写作》，很有帮助的，verycd上就能搜到。

5.5~6分 此文章比较中规中矩，模板痕迹不重，高分词汇短语不多
dangerouses->dangerousness,
also will->will also， yoth->youth
choise->choice
there be的单复数根据后面的名词决定 这点在文章中多次用错
worth这个词的用法要搞清才可以用 文章中多次用错
first, the disadvantages。这句话过于口语化 写作需要完整的句子
too many examples are there应改成there are too many examples 这个新东方老师特意强调过
举对成人的缺点时应用现在时而不用过去时

建议：你已掌握基本的写作技巧，但基础薄弱，最好巩固一下单词和语法
附：worth, worthy, worthwhile 区别
1.worth adj&n.值得，应该,作形容词在句中只能作表语
①*./sth. be worth ... :
His words are worth notice.他的话值得注意.
The bike is worth 200 yuan.
②be (well) worth doing (很)值得做...,注意这个句型是主动表被动的用法,如这本书值得一读
This book is worth reading.
2.worthy adj&n.有价值的,值得...的,做形容词时既可以做表语又可以作定语
①be worthy of +n.
He is worthy of our praise.
②be (quite)worthy of being done (很)值得做... :
The film is worhty of being watched.
③be worthy to be done (很)值得做... ,上面的句子可以改写为:
The film is worthy to be watched.
3.worthwhile adj.值得做的..值得出力的,既可以做表语又可以作定语
be worthwhile doing/be worthwhile to do:
It is worthwhile discussing the question again.=It is worthwhile to discuss the question again.

雅思写作大作文范文
Nowadays, whether evaluating and criticizing teachers should be supported in the classroom has become a controversial issue. From my perspective, evaluation and critici* of teachers are necessary for the improvement of education if they are objective and reasonable.
现在，是否应该在课堂上对教师进行评价和批判，已经成为一个有争议的问题。从我的观点来看，如果教育是客观合理的，那么对教师的评价和批评是必要的。
On the one hand, proposing changes to teachers’ lesson content contributes to the improvement of teaching quality. Usually, it is difficult for teachers to realize the mistakes and slips in their teaching unless students remind them. Additionally, teachers may not clearly know what students have known and want to know when planning their lessons. If students can put forward their ideas and suggestions towards the lesson, it will be of great help for teachers to upgrade the teaching projects. Moreover, trying to evaluate teachers’ lesson is particularly beneficial for students’ academic and career development in the future. The modern education emphasizes critici* and innovation. Undoubtedly, it is an effective way for students to debate or discuss with teachers.
一方面，对教师教学内容进行改革，有助于提高教学质量。通常情况下，教师很难意识到这些错误并在教学中疏忽，除非学生们提醒他们。此外，老师可能不清楚学生在计划课程时所知道的和想要知道的内容。如果学生能对课程提出自己的想法和建议，对教师进行教学改革将有很大的帮助。此外，试着评价教师的课程对学生将来的学业和职业发展有很大的帮助。现代教育强调批评和创新。毫无疑问，这是学生与老师辩论或讨论的有效方式。
On the other hand, the disruptive students will probably disturb the class and negatively affect both teaching and learning outcomes. When students voice their opinions in the classroom, it will be hard to maintain the order and discipline and the teachers may feel disrespected. Also, students will suffer a loss in terms of knowledge and other learning content. This is because teachers always devote much to delivering knowledge and explaining theories. If they are disrupted, the teaching plan may not be able to be fulfilled. As a result, both teachers and students have to face a loss in the quality of education.
另一方面，破坏性的学生可能会扰乱课堂，对教学和学习成果都产生负面影响。当学生在课堂上表达自己的观点时，很难维持秩序和纪律，而老师们可能会感到不受尊重。此外，学生在知识和其他学习内容方面也会遭受损失。这是因为老师总是在传授知识和解释理论方面投入很多。如果他们被打乱了，教学计划可能无法实现。因此，教师和学生都必须面对教育质量的下降。
To sum up, it can be recommended that students evaluate and criticize teachers in the classroom on the premise that they have decent manners without disturbing the learning atmosphere. Only in this way will teachers and students achieve a win-win outcome in education.
总而言之，我们可以建议学生在课堂上评价和批评老师，前提是他们有礼貌，不会影响学习气氛。只有这样，教师和学生才能在教育上实现双赢。

The increasing number of young people committing crimes is regarded as a serious social problem and the dispute that who should take responsibility to this circumstance is raisen by many people. In my view, parents should take partially but not all the responsibility to this problem for the following reasons.

At begining, parents should pay for the crimes that their children committed because they have shoulder the primary responsibility to educate and cultivate children in the aspect of behaviour. It is a common sense that children are easily infulenced by parents' inappropriate behaviors such as drinking skoking and gambling. Due to *s' adverse impact, children may gradually develop psychology problems which cause them commit anti-social behaviros or crimes.

On the other hand, the schools and social contacts such as friends and neighbours may also mislead children on the way of guity. Young people are easily influenced by others in that they have a shortage of the in depth understanding of our society and the basic ability to destinguish right from wrong. Therefore, schools, as institutions of education, should also take the responsibility for the crimes of children. Teachers behaviour is as important as parents;, the child regard them as a model. If what teacher behave cause the misunderstanding of the children, there will be occur some unexpected circumstance.

In conclusion, parents surely should pay for the crimes that children had committed, accordingly, the schools and friends also impact on the action of the children. Two sides should both pay more concern to the growing children and help them to identify the justice and the true.

大概5-5.5分吧，前面的部分我稍微帮你改了一下，有很多细小的语法和表达错误。
提几点意见
1 要回答题目的问题。你好像没有很明确的回答问题
2 注意词的搭配。选词的时候多查查字典，看看例句，弄明白这个词的具体用法
3 注意文章的逻辑连接
4 可以去网上找一找相关题材的英文文章，可以在google里用关键词检索，看看人家的语言表达

Anyway，加油