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让雅思作文“简洁漂亮”的三大建议 雅思作文上不了6分,原来都是因为这个错误

更新:2023年03月16日 17:48 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了让雅思作文“简洁漂亮”的三大建议 雅思作文上不了6分,原来都是因为这个错误,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
让雅思作文“简洁漂亮”的三大建议 雅思作文上不了6分,原来都是因为这个错误

让雅思作文“简洁漂亮”的三大建议

  中国烤鸭在雅思写作中,极爱用长难句,自己感觉一写长难句就会高大上,但其实不然。本文中新东方雅思网将为大家提出一些让雅思作文“简洁漂亮”的建议,供大家参考。

建议一:避免空洞的单词和词组

1.一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息,完全可以被删掉。

比如:When all things are considered, young *s of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。

这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为:

Young *s of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。

2.有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换

例如:Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。

“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子,可以替换,简化为下面的表达方式:

Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now。

建议二:避免重复

1.尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复,但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。

例如下面这个例子:The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。

large对一个farm来说就是size方面的large,所以in size可以去掉,改为:

The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。

更简洁的表达方式为:

My grandfather grew up on a large farm。

2.有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换

例如:My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents' farm。

这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly,显得更为简洁:

My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents' farm。

建议三:选择最恰当的语法结构

选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要,但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则:

1.一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。

例如:The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。

从意思上来分析,上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able to study”,而在表达这个概念时,原句用的主语是situation,谓语动词是was,不能强调需要表达的重点概念,可以改为下面这句话:

My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。

2.避免频繁使用“there be”结构

例如下面的句子:There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。

可以改为:

My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。

更简洁的句式为:

My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。

3.把从句改为短语或单词。

例如:Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。

简介的表达方式为:

The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university。

4.仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候,才使用被动语态。

例如:In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。

本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather's family”,而使用了被动语态後,彷佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态,相对来说更简洁一些:

In the fall, my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。

5.用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语,

例如:My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。

Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达,即loiter:

My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。

6.有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达

例如:Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too *all to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。

两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子:

Profits from the farm were sometimes too *all to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree。

雅思作文上不了6分,原来都是因为这个错误

在这几年的雅思教学经历中,经常会遇到这样一些学生,阅读听力可以达到七分,甚至八分这样的分数,但写作仅仅维持在5.5分,考过几次都没有任何长进。当然考官在评判写作分数时会通过内容、结构、词汇及语法这四个方面进行评分。但如果在写作过程中一味追求难词,长句,而基本语法问题错误百出,那这样的文章必然是与6+无缘了。更要说明的事,那些阅读听力拿了高分但写作中分数不高的学生,低分原因部分就是因为试图写长句,但在最基本的简单句都出现了错误。究竟如何才能写出6+的作文,来看看新东方在线致赢雅思于思靓老师的解析。

今天主要从语法中最为基本的主谓角度, 剖析下怎么先把基本的句子写对, 再去构建长句。请各位谨记,写作的首要原则是,先做到精准再做到精彩,如果简单句都错误百出,那再多的所谓“长句难句”也没有用。

相信很多考生都有同样的感受,花了几年甚至十几年的时间学习英语,其中语法这部分学明白的没有几个。不过当我问到学生,语法过多的细节概念我们先不追究,就说主谓关系这,能分清楚不?基本所有学生都会自信的说,主谓这个语法点,我还是没有问题的。但就是主谓这里,让很多学生都翻了船。

先来看下, 从我学生材料中挑选的这几个句子:

1.There are many people think that parents play an important role in children’s education.

2.In terms of the consumption of beef saw a dramatic increase.

3.If sufficient underground train systems are built.

仔细观察, 不知大家是否发现了这几个句子中的语法问题呢? 我们首先要承认, 这三个句子用词都还不错, 但都在语法这出了问题。首先看句1, 如果大家对主谓要求有所了解的话, 就应该知道一个句子中只能包含一个谓语。 但这个句子出现了两个谓语are 及 think 。正确改法, 把think变为非谓语动词的形式, thinking。

句2, 句子中缺少主语, 很多人会把in terms of the consumption of chicken 当做主语, 但他实际只是状语, 正确改法, In terms of the consumption of chicken, it saw a dramatic rise. 加上it做句子的主语。

最后一个, 句3, 确实有主谓, 但句意不完整, 如果建立了充分的地铁系统, 之后会怎么样呢? 缓解交通阻塞还是会消耗*大量资金? 不仅从语义角度来讲, 这个句子是不完整的, 从语法角度来说也是有残缺的。 If 用来引导从句, 要附属于主句而存在, 那这里我们只见从句, 不见主句。 所以, 还是一个错误的句子。 正确改法, If sufficient underground train systems are built, then the traffic congestion will be eased.

在考官的五分评分标准中明确的指出, 五分的作文语法上会: may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. 言外之意, 造成读者理解困难的文章, 语法上只能达到5分。 那这里我们所说的句1出现的谓语问题,句2出现的主语问题以及句3的句义不完整, 就是会导致读者理解上出现困难的语法问题。如果评分标准中语法这项仅仅是5分的话, 全文的分数一般也就不过5.5了。

下一讲, 我们会就语法中最为核心也同样是很基本的主谓问题加以讲解, 希望同学们可以在后期写作过程中,避免这些致命的语法问题。

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