你的雅思作文句子有效吗 雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了你的雅思作文句子有效吗 雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

你的雅思作文句子有效吗？英文简洁之美

句子结构是雅思写作评分标准“语法的多样性与准确度”中一项十分重要的考量因素，但这并不意味着要求考生具备写长难句的能力。在追求输出像雅思阅读一样精到的语言之前，我们首先要确保的应当是写出来的句子是正确的。有效的句子甚而段落通常应当同时满足以下五个要素：一致、连贯、简洁、强调、多样。

1. 一致：如句内的逻辑关系，注意检查是否存在简单推论、逻辑残缺、逻辑悖论、依赖偏见等。

Born in a *all town in South Chinain the early 1950s, he grew up to be a famous musician.

→ He was born in a *all town in South China in the early 1950s. In his childhood he liked to sing songs. Later he entered a conservatory. In the 1970s he became a famous musician.

2. 连贯：这个问题在平行结构、共用主语、使用指代的情况下尤其需要注意。

We thought she was charming, intelligent, and a very capable young woman.

→ We thought she was charming, intelligent, and very capable.

Or: We thought she was a charming, intelligent, and very capable young woman.

He was knocked down by a bicycle, but it was not serious.

→ He was knocked down by a bicycle, but was not badly injured.

Looking out of the window, the grassland stretches as far as the eye can reach.

→ Looking out of the window, we can see the grassland stretching as far as the eye can reach.

Or: Outside the window, the grassland stretches as far as the eye can reach.

He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, which nobody believed.

→ He gave a reason, which nobody believed, for not attending the meeting.

Or: He gave a reason for not attending the meeting, a reason which nobody believed.

3. 简洁：英美文化推崇坦率和直接，通常不需要体现咱儒家文化的含蓄和委婉。

It was *all in size and blue in colour.

→ It was *all and blue.

He usually likes to drink all kinds of wines that are produced in France.

→ He prefers French wines.

4. 强调：正如每篇文章都要有中心思想(main idea)，每个段落都要有主题句(topic sentence)一般，每个句子都要围绕一个中心观点清晰地呈现出作者想要表现的重点。

He is modest and hardworking and is a good student.

→ He is a good student, modest and hardworking.

There is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old, in the temple.

→ In the temple there is a big tree, which is said to be 300 years old.

At the sight of the disorderly crowd, he was aware that something bad would be possible.

→ The moment he saw the disorderly crowd, he knew that something bad would happen.

5. 多样：中文重重复，英文重替代，中英差异使然。

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

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