如何写出雅思作文高端结尾段雅思作文修改：网络代替学校

更新：2023年03月17日 17:33 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何写出雅思作文高端结尾段雅思作文修改：网络代替学校，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
如何写出雅思作文高端结尾段雅思作文修改：网络代替学校

如何写出雅思作文高端结尾段

　　随着雅思托福考试越来越被大家所熟知，渐渐的，大家也明白了想出国留学，雅思考试是必须要走的一条路，而对于一些学生来说雅思作文更是其中的重中之重，特别是一些对于四六级写作都束手无策的考生来说，雅思就更加困难了，时间更短，而字数要求却更多了。
　　很多学员向小编反映，雅思作文结尾段最难写，所以，我们就在本文中教大家如何写出一个高端大气的雅思作文结尾段，让考官瞬间提升了对整篇文章的印象分。
　　回顾全文+观点+展望：
　　这种结尾方式比较适合于双边结构的作文，在这种写法中，我们要注意的是结尾段由三个要素组成，其中第2个要素是必须的，但是句子的数量可以是3句也可以是2句甚至1个句子。首先我们来看一个例子：
　　I agree that we need to make sure that animals that are used for testing new products have the minimum of suffering. However, I am convinced that animal testing is necessary, and that it will continue to benefit humans in new and wonderful ways。
　　上面这个例句中，作者将自己的观点隐藏在了一个宾语从句之后，起到了一个欲扬先抑的效果。但是这种效果必须搭配一个展望未来才能起到渲染的效果。我们来对比另外一个例子：
　　In conclusion, physical punishment can be a useful method of discipline. However, it should be the last choice for parents. If we want to build a world with less violence we must begin at home, and we must teach our children to be responsible。
　　大家不难发现，2个句子都使用了相似的衔接方式，即首句委婉地回顾全文，将观点的对立面用"让步"的方式表达出来，同时也是对于主体段观点的回顾。然后再是用转折阐述自己的看法和观点。最后再用一个对于未来的期望来支撑自己的观点。这种顺序安排的优点在于对于文章的主体有很好的总结，但同时观点又是非常鲜明有力的，加上对于未来的润色，使得表达更流畅。用同样的方法，我们再来看第三个例句：
　　To sum up, although there are undoubtedly some problems with increased levels of education, I feel strongly that the country can only progress if all its people are educated to the maximum of their ability。
　　和前2个结尾不同，第三个结尾尽管也是先回顾了全文，但是它将作者的观点和对未来的期望写在了一个条件状语从句里。如此就给出了我们在构造"展望未来"时的一个思路，即搭配条件状语从句或者介宾短语跟在观点句之后。此种结尾发展方式同样适用于分析解决型大作文的结尾段布局。
　　对于毒品对社会的危害，作者先是承认现状的无法改变，进而乐观地阐述了自己的观点即采取了切实有效的行动后可以减弱其危害。最后用毒品的危害性来对未来作展望。换句话说，在社会类分析解决型议论文中，我们在展望未来时可以考虑用强调其长远的影响作为突破口。
　　一个好的雅思作文结尾段不仅能给作文一个完整的结束，更能提升雅思作文的质量，获得评分老师的好感，同学们，这样高端大气的结尾，你掌握写作技巧了吗?

雅思作文修改：网络代替学校

很多同学发来四段式的作文给我，但是真正能写好四段式的没有几个，下面这篇的错误比较典型，给大家参考。

题目如下：schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home.What extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientific developments have brought us many benefits, among which the internet must be the most spectacular one. In the near future, it might take the place of schools so that it is convenient for children to obtain knowledge.

我很高兴地看到你可以把上课时讲的很多句子和单词应用在这篇四段式文章中，但是我划横线的句子表现出了你一定的倾向性，你可以把这句改为（there has long been a discussion about the opinion that whether the internet could take the place of schools.）这样可以做到客观的引入话题，而不表明观点。

With time going by, Internet has become an encyclopedia in some degree. It seems that there are an increasing number of children are fund of getting information from the Internet. Some of them are in a great need of gaining information while others just surf it as a hobby. As is known to all that encyclopedia is large enough to satisfy those little children and of course the knowledge in textbooks is included. In that case, there is no need to employ teachers to teach children. As a result children can study just as well at home and get a good grade.

However, there are certainly demerits in studying at home with the Internet. People who make the webpages can make mistakes and some knowledge is completely wrong. As a child, it is not an easy job to distinguish the information. Unlike at home, children are able to obtain knowledge in a systematic way. Besides, children who study at home are more withdrawn than those who study at schools. What is more, children don’t require teachers and that means people who now are teachers will lose their jobs. It may cause the dissipation of human resources and their families are in great trouble of making a living.

上面一段有两个问题：

1.负面的问题我觉得分析的不够，错误应该只是一个小的方面，更重要的应该是：没有人引导，孩子的学习效率会比较低下。

2.我读了划横线的句子后，感觉你的观点应该是支持网络替代学校，因为你用了，certainly这个让步词，但是你在下面一段却表明了跟我的猜测相反的观点，前后不一致，这个是致命的错误。

My view is that schools are still necessary in the future. That is the best way for children to not only get their knowledge in a systematic way but also develop their interpersonal skills. Internet is, in the long run , just a tool to widen their horizons.

如果我打分的话，Band 5

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