当前位置：雅思无忧 > 雅思写作 > 正文

雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文论证独家秘籍

更新：2023年03月18日 18:48 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文论证独家秘籍，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文论证独家秘籍

雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯


大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2，同其他考官范文不同，这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子，假如你是雅思考官，按照写作评分的四大项标准， 你会给他打几分呢？

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看，考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化，但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car，local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的，先描写也毋庸置疑，但local bus 和long distance bus，变化数据设计不多，同时变化趋势也不相同，放在一起描述没有意义。其次，此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据，这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位，考生的作文中带的是people， 但仔细审题后我们会发现，这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles，通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构，通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子，但两段的绝对没有。同时，文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据， 缺少了开头段的引入，结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看， 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看， 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态：数据变化时间为1985-2000，为一般过去，考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致：However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数，谓语动词单数，主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数：There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态：as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢， 我们来看下考官评语，实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出，于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短，像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题，如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现，像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

雅思作文论证独家秘籍

　　雅思作文论证怎样才能论证严密而不至于平铺直叙呢?对比，是常用的好方法。如何利用对比的手法写好一篇雅思作文呢?

　　为大家整理了雅思大作文高分技巧：——对比，对比是雅思大作文写作中的高分方法，因为使用对比可以突出主题，也可以是文章更为吸引人。对比方法在雅思大作文写作这种的应用很多，可以把对比应用在事例中，也可以应用在顺序中。

　　1、通过比较和对比方式来论证，这样两个事物、行为或者观点的利弊就非常明显。

　　Those who believe in the measure say that students benefit a lot from traveling or working for a year before their formal university education. First, they can more broadly acquainted themselves with the society, deepen their understanding of the outside world, and thus better coordinate their objectives of learning with the needs of the society. In contrast, by immediate entrance to university they can not steer the direction of their study well and may display a poor combination of the theory with practice. Second, study at high school is really exhausting, especially when to win college admission. So it is necessary to grant these children a relatively long period of relaxation or buffer, say, traveling or working for a year, to loosen the chords of their brain, so that when they go back to school later again, they can become completely refreshed and rejuvenated.

　　这篇雅思大作文写作的内容是关于上大学前是否应该用一年的时间来旅游或者工作进行论证。此段的主题是学生在进入大学学习之前花一年时间进行旅游或工作的话，会让他们受益匪浅。对比点是：进入大学之前一年进行旅游或工作有利于让学生广泛了解社会，加深他们对外界的理解，因此能让他们更好地协调好学习目标和社会的需要。应用这样的雅思大作文写作方法，相对比之下，直接进入大学学习的话，他们不能够把握学习的方向，而且有可能会产生理论和实践相脱节。通过此番对比，旅游或工作一年对于即将步入大学的学生们的好处是显而易见，段落的主题句得到有力的论证。

　　2、通过假设进行正反论述。

　　Then, since the transportation system is the lifeline of a country’s economic activities, its paralysis would lead to the disintegration of the economy, either industry of farming or daylife. Suppose all the means of transportation were halted for lack of oil, factories with insufficient raw materials would have to close, workers would be out of work, and ripe farm crops would have to stay in the fields at the mercy of rain and storms. People would try to store food and the price of all commodities would go up. If we take those power stations run by oil into account, situations would become even worse. In this sense, oil decides the fate of the whole economy and that of the government.

　　通过假设得出了一系列的可怕的后果，最后再得出结论，这样的结论是发人深省，当然也是最能引起人们广泛重视的，这样的雅思大作文写作方法是最容易给人留下深刻印象的。



以上就是雅思无忧网为您准备的访问雅思无忧网(https://www.yasi.cn/)，了解更多雅思考试新消息，新动态。

雅思培训
免责声明：文章内容来自网络，如有侵权请及时联系删除。
推荐阅读
  • 推荐文章
  • 分类文章
  • 热门专题
    • 甘肃雅思备考 甘肃雅思听力备考 雅思阅读 雅思词汇 雅思写作 雅思口语 雅思考试 雅思听力 新疆雅思 宁夏雅思 青海雅思 甘肃雅思
  • 标签推荐
    • 雅思听力同义替换 雅思听力场景 雅思阅读背景知识 雅思阅读分类词汇 雅思口语part2范文 雅思阅读备考资料 雅思听力单选题 雅思阅读备考攻略 雅思听力误区 雅思写作话题 浙江雅思备考 江苏雅思备考
    标签 - 专题
      鲁ICP备18049789号-14

    2022雅思无忧网版权所有 All right reserved. 版权所有

    警告：未经本网授权不得转载、摘编或利用其它方式使用上述作品