雅思作文修改：网络代替学校 雅思作文Task1写作常识

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改：网络代替学校 雅思作文Task1写作常识，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文修改：网络代替学校

很多同学发来四段式的作文给我，但是真正能写好四段式的没有几个，下面这篇的错误比较典型，给大家参考。

题目如下：schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home.What extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientific developments have brought us many benefits, among which the internet must be the most spectacular one. In the near future, it might take the place of schools so that it is convenient for children to obtain knowledge.

我很高兴地看到你可以把上课时讲的很多句子和单词应用在这篇四段式文章中，但是我划横线的句子表现出了你一定的倾向性，你可以把这句改为（there has long been a discussion about the opinion that whether the internet could take the place of schools.）这样可以做到客观的引入话题，而不表明观点。

With time going by, Internet has become an encyclopedia in some degree. It seems that there are an increasing number of children are fund of getting information from the Internet. Some of them are in a great need of gaining information while others just surf it as a hobby. As is known to all that encyclopedia is large enough to satisfy those little children and of course the knowledge in textbooks is included. In that case, there is no need to employ teachers to teach children. As a result children can study just as well at home and get a good grade.

However, there are certainly demerits in studying at home with the Internet. People who make the webpages can make mistakes and some knowledge is completely wrong. As a child, it is not an easy job to distinguish the information. Unlike at home, children are able to obtain knowledge in a systematic way. Besides, children who study at home are more withdrawn than those who study at schools. What is more, children don’t require teachers and that means people who now are teachers will lose their jobs. It may cause the dissipation of human resources and their families are in great trouble of making a living.

上面一段有两个问题：

1.负面的问题我觉得分析的不够，错误应该只是一个小的方面，更重要的应该是：没有人引导，孩子的学习效率会比较低下。

2.我读了划横线的句子后，感觉你的观点应该是支持网络替代学校，因为你用了，certainly这个让步词，但是你在下面一段却表明了跟我的猜测相反的观点，前后不一致，这个是致命的错误。

My view is that schools are still necessary in the future. That is the best way for children to not only get their knowledge in a systematic way but also develop their interpersonal skills. Internet is, in the long run , just a tool to widen their horizons.

如果我打分的话，Band 5

雅思作文Task1写作常识

一、图形种类及概述法：
泛指一份数据图表：a data graph/chart/diagram/illustration/table
饼图：pie chart
直方图或柱形图：bar chart / histogram
趋势曲线图：line chart / curve diagram
表格图：table
流程图或过程图：flow chart / sequence diagram
程序图：processing/procedures diagram

以下是一些较常用的描述用法
The table/chart diagram/graph shows (that)
According to the table/chart diagram/graph
As (is) shown in the table/chart diagram/graph
As can be seen from the table/chart/diagram/graph/figures,
figures/statistics shows (that)...
It can be seen from the figures/statistics
We can see from the figures/statistics
It is clear from the figures/statistics
It is apparent from the figures/statistics
table/chart/diagram/graph figures (that) ...
table/chart/diagram/graph shows/describes/illustrates how
......

阅卷考官经常是不会看那些图表的，因此文章必须逻辑清晰，如果描述得能令人在脑海里勾画出那个data chart，这篇task1无疑会达到8分的水平。开篇的第一句话可以是一句高度概括性的introduction（当然开门见山直接描述也是一种写法）；这样做不仅使文章更趋于完美，而且可以达到凑字数的目的（但不要照抄题目，除非时间相当紧迫）。接下来另起一段开始进行描述（根据实际情况1-2段），这当中经常要连续使用非限定性定于从句，从而使得描述过程流畅、清晰。最后也可再另起一段进行简短的综述（并非必须）。上述的任何一个步骤都要遵循依据现有data进行客观描述的原则，任何推测性或议论性的内容写得再多、再精彩不仅不会加分，而且还会成为扣分的因素。

二、data的具体表达法

data在某一个时间段固定不变：fixed in time
在一系列的时间段中转变：changes over time
持续变化的data在不同情况下:
增加：increase / raise / rise / go up ...
减少：decrease / grow down / drop / fall ...
波动：fluctuate / rebound / undulate / wave ...
稳定：remain stable / stabilize / level off ...

最常用的两种表达法：
动词 + 副词形式（Verb+Adverb form）
形容词 + 名词形式（Adjective+Noun form）
　　
1. Verb+Adverb form
The number of XXX
+increase/jump/rise/decrease/drop/fall/fluctuate...
+insignificantly/significantly/slightly/suddenly/rapidly/dramatically/sharply/steeply/steadily/gradually/slowly...
+from (第一时间) to (第二时间) / between (第一时间) and (第二时间)

2. Adjective+Noun form
There was a (very) sudden/rapid/dramatic/significant/sharp/steep/steady/gradual/slow/slight
+increase/jump/rise/decrease/drop/fall/fluctuation （注意：上述很多词不可用于修饰fluctuation）
+in the number of XXX from (第一时间) to (第二时间) / between (第一时间) and (第二时间)

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