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雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)

更新：2023年03月21日 10:15 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)

雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯


大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2，同其他考官范文不同，这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子，假如你是雅思考官，按照写作评分的四大项标准， 你会给他打几分呢？

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看，考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化，但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car，local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的，先描写也毋庸置疑，但local bus 和long distance bus，变化数据设计不多，同时变化趋势也不相同，放在一起描述没有意义。其次，此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据，这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位，考生的作文中带的是people， 但仔细审题后我们会发现，这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles，通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构，通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子，但两段的绝对没有。同时，文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据， 缺少了开头段的引入，结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看， 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看， 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态：数据变化时间为1985-2000，为一般过去，考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致：However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数，谓语动词单数，主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数：There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态：as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢， 我们来看下考官评语，实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出，于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短，像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题，如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现，像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)


　　句式就是句子的结构方式，也就是句子的式样或格式。不同的思想内容要用不同的句式来表达;而同一思想内容也可以用不同的句式来表达。句式不同，表达效果也就不同。只有句式多样化，文章才会生动有趣，充满活力。可是，在实际写作中，初学写作的学生往往一篇文章都是千篇一律的简单句，文章单调乏味，毫无生气。笔者认为，恰当地使用某些方法或手段有助于实际表达形式的多样化，增强表达效果。兹将常用方法简单介绍如下。

　　一、改变句子开头

　　许多学生在写作中倾向于用与人有关系的词性，用名词和代词作为句子的开头，如 People，We，I，He，They，She等。但这种开头见多了，难免让人厌倦。试比较：

　　A.People throughout the country have greatly demanded all kinds of nutritious food.

　　B.There is a great demand across the country for all kinds of nutritious food.

　　第一句改用非人称名词作为主语开头，第二句则用there +be句型开头。这样既改变了主语+谓语+宾语单调句型，又把想强调的意思突出出来。实际上，为了把文章写得生动活泼，除了用主语开头外，还可以用句子的其他成分开头。

　　1.用副词开头

　　Too often，students stray into the habit of cheating on tests.

　　2.用同位语开头

　　Air，water and oxygen，everything that is necessary for life.

　　3.用状语开头

　　Dark and empty，the house looked very different from the way I remembered it.

　　4.用表语开头

　　Equally essential to the highest success in learning a language are intense interest plus persistent effort.

　　5.用宾语开头

　　My advice you would not listen to;my helps you laughed at.Now you will have what you asked for.

　　6.以短语修饰语开头

　　1)以介词短语开头

　　To me the news was very interesting，but to my wife very boring.

　　2)以分词短语开头

　　Disturbed by the discord of American life in recent decades，Menchester took flight for the pacific islands.

　　3)以不定式短语开头

　　To pass the exam，you should work very hard.
　　二、巧用连接词

　　有的学生在作文中使用过多简单句，成了简单句堆砌;有的写复杂句时，动辄用so， and，then，but，or，however，yet等非但达不到丰富表达方式的目的，反而使句子结构松散、呆板。为了避免这种现象，可以通过使用连接词，尤其是一些表示从属关系的连接词，如 who，which，that，because，since，although，after，as，before，when，whenever，if，unless，as if等，不仅能够丰富句型，而且还能够把思想表达得更清楚，意义更连贯。例如：

　　Natural resources are very limited.They will be exhausted in the near future.It is not true.But it becomes a major concern around the world.This is a widely accepted fact.

　　这段文字用简单句表达，它们之间内在的逻辑关系含糊不清，意思支离破碎。如果使用连接词，将单句与其前后合并，形成主次关系，就把一个比较复杂的内容和关系表达得层次清楚、结构严谨。例如：

　　It is a widely accepted fact that there is a major concern around the world for the exhaustion of limited natural resources in the near future，though it is unlikely to be true.

　　再如：

　　The Mississippi River is one of the longest rivers in the world，and in spring time it often overflows its banks，and the lives of many people are endangered.

　　此句用and把三个分句一贯到底，既乏味又可笑。如果使用了关系代词which，语义就会更连贯，语言也会更流畅：

　　The Mississippi River，which is one of the longest rivers in the world，often overflows its banks in the spring time，endangering the lives of many people.

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