雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失 雅思作文高分例句评析

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失 雅思作文高分例句评析，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

雅思作文高分例句评析

下面这些句子全部来自于雅思高分作文(7分水平以上)，对于备考雅思作文的同学来说也可以当作一个很好的参考，看看下面这些句子你的表达和这里提供的model answer是否一致。 　　1. 一个人的实际能力才是企业所真正看重的。 　　It is one's practical capability that enterprises truly value. 　　(这句话用强调句句型表达效果比较好。) 　　2. 我认为我们发明一种新的语言来取代英语是没有必要的. 　　I don't think it necessary to invent a new kind of language to take the place of English. 　　(这句话有太多的同学用"instead of"来表示“取代”的意思，再次强调，instead of是介词词组，表示"......而不是......"的意思。) 　　3. 然而，关于它是一件好事还是坏事，人们有不同的态度。 　　People, nevertheless, hold various opinions in terms of the issue whether it is a blessing or a curse. 　　(这句话有很多人用"good thing"和"bad thing"表示“好事”和“坏事”，在书面语中推荐用blessing和curse，绝对的less common vocabulary!) 　　4. 很多国家的失业率在不断攀升这一事实是我们无法否认的。 　　The fact that the unemployment rates in quite a number of countries keep rising can not be denied . 　　5. 在给出我的观点之前，我认为看一看问题的两面是很重要的。 　　I hold it essential to examine the both sides of the issue before presenting my viewpoint. 　　(这句话有几个重点：首先表示“看一看”不宜用"look at"，那是“盯着...看”的意思，examine是“仔细审视”的意思，用在这里正合适。“问题”在这里应该用issue而不是problem，因为 problem相当于trouble，一定是负面的。Issue表示“有争议的问题”，大家记住，雅思作文里讨论的话题绝大多数都属于issue。此外，present属于less common vocabulary,是“give”的升级版。) 　　6. 不同的人们对于全球化是否有利于经济的发展这个问题持有不同的看法. 　　Different people hold various viewpoints as to the issue whether globalization is beneficial to the economic development. 　　7. 令人感到遗憾的是大多数人所在乎的仅仅就只是他们怎么样才能更多地赚到钱。 　　It is a pity that all the majority of people care about is how they could be paid more. 　　8. 随着越来越多的妇女参与全职工作，由谁来照顾孩子已经成为了社会上的一个问题。 　　With increasing number of women taking part in full-time jobs, who should take care of children has become a social issue. 　　(注意with引导的成分名词后面必须跟动词的ing形式，很多同学这一题一上来就写"With more and more women take part in full-time job"是错误的。) 　　以上即为雅思作文高分例句评析的详细内容，对于大家备考雅思作文非常有帮助，雅思高分作文需要经典的句子和大家多下功夫。

以上就是雅思无忧网为您准备的访问雅思无忧网(https://www.yasi.cn/)，了解更多雅思考试新消息，新动态。

雅思培训
免责声明：文章内容来自网络，如有侵权请及时联系删除。