雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 准确表达写作内容

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯 准确表达写作内容，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文想拿高分，这四个错误一定不能犯

大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2，同其他考官范文不同，这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子，假如你是雅思(课程)考官，按照写作评分的四大项标准， 你会给他打几分呢？

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.



In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看，考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化，但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car，local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的，先描写也毋庸置疑，但local bus 和long distance bus，变化数据设计不多，同时变化趋势也不相同，放在一起描述没有意义。其次，此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据，这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位，考生的作文中带的是people， 但仔细审题后我们会发现，这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles，通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构，通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子，但两段的绝对没有。同时，文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据， 缺少了开头段的引入，结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看， 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看， 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态：数据变化时间为1985-2000，为一般过去，考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致：However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数，谓语动词单数，主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数：There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态：as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢， 我们来看下考官评语，实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出，于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短，像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题，如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现，像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

准确表达写作内容 让考官看懂你的雅思作文

一般情况下，烤鸭们会很顺利地读懂自己写的雅思作文，但是却不知道，身为“老外”的雅思考官是否能读出同样的味道。这主要是因为汉语和英语在表达顺序上的差异。

首先我们先看几个短句，来体会这种语言差异：

例1:Chatting on the Internet provides us with a lot of fun.

网上聊天给我带来很多乐趣。

汉语：网上 聊天

英语：聊天 在网上

可见，英语习惯性地将修饰成分后置，尤其是短语结构的修饰语。

更多例子：

Self-confidence is the first step on the road to success.

自信是成功之路的第一步。

汉语：成功之路 的第一步

英语：第一步 在路上 成功的

Living without an aim is like sailing without a compass.

没有目标的活着就像没有罗盘的航行。

汉语： 没有目标地 活着

英语：活着 没有目标

汉语：没有罗盘的 航行

英语：航行 没有罗盘

看了以上的例子我们不难发现英语和汉语在修饰方面的差异，下面让我们练习翻译几个句子，进一步体会写作过程中如何利用这样规律：

练习1: 一提到即将开始的学校生活，许多学生都会兴高采烈。

step1:找句子的主干(表达的核心内容)——学生都会兴高采烈numerous students will go to rapture

step2:找修饰成分——生活life——学校生活school life——即将开始的学校生活 the coming school life

考虑到修饰位置的平衡我们将the coming school life调整为the coming life of school, 修饰的核心词是life，前后都有修饰语，结构上比较平衡，避免修饰语过多而造成chinglish。

step3：整理——Numerous students will go to rapture at the mere mention of the coming life of school.

注意：英语习惯将重要信息前置，所以一般先写句子主干，在写其他修成成分。这样你的表达和老外的理解就很容易契合。

练习2: 考虑到问题的严重性，在事态进一步恶化之前，必须采取有效的措施。

step1:找主干——必须采取有效的措施：effective measures should be taken(由于无明确主语所以选择被动形式)

step2: 找修饰语——(1)考虑到问题的严重性in view of the seriousness of this problem

(2)在事态进一步恶化之前(时间状语)before things get worse

step3：整理In view of the seriousness of this problem ,effective measures should be taken before things get worse.

注意：此处，修饰成分没有全部放到句子后面，而是分为两个部分一个放前一个放后，这是考虑句子平衡的结果。

不知道同学们是否有了一些启发。同时希望愤怒的烤鸭们能尽快拿到自己的理想成绩。

以上就是雅思无忧网为您准备的访问雅思无忧网(https://www.yasi.cn/)，了解更多雅思考试新消息，新动态。

雅思培训
免责声明：文章内容来自网络，如有侵权请及时联系删除。