当前位置:雅思无忧 > 雅思写作 > 正文

雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)

更新:2023年03月25日 19:45 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上),希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)

雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失


  对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
  题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
  原文:
  It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
  修改:
  It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
  has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  (this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
  My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
  considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(上)


  句式就是句子的结构方式,也就是句子的式样或格式。不同的思想内容要用不同的句式来表达;而同一思想内容也可以用不同的句式来表达。句式不同,表达效果也就不同。只有句式多样化,文章才会生动有趣,充满活力。可是,在实际写作中,初学写作的学生往往一篇文章都是千篇一律的简单句,文章单调乏味,毫无生气。笔者认为,恰当地使用某些方法或手段有助于实际表达形式的多样化,增强表达效果。兹将常用方法简单介绍如下。

  一、改变句子开头

  许多学生在写作中倾向于用与人有关系的词性,用名词和代词作为句子的开头,如 People,We,I,He,They,She等。但这种开头见多了,难免让人厌倦。试比较:

  A.People throughout the country have greatly demanded all kinds of nutritious food.

  B.There is a great demand across the country for all kinds of nutritious food.

  第一句改用非人称名词作为主语开头,第二句则用there +be句型开头。这样既改变了主语+谓语+宾语单调句型,又把想强调的意思突出出来。实际上,为了把文章写得生动活泼,除了用主语开头外,还可以用句子的其他成分开头。

  1.用副词开头

  Too often,students stray into the habit of cheating on tests.

  2.用同位语开头

  Air,water and oxygen,everything that is necessary for life.

  3.用状语开头

  Dark and empty,the house looked very different from the way I remembered it.

  4.用表语开头

  Equally essential to the highest success in learning a language are intense interest plus persistent effort.

  5.用宾语开头

  My advice you would not listen to;my helps you laughed at.Now you will have what you asked for.

  6.以短语修饰语开头

  1)以介词短语开头

  To me the news was very interesting,but to my wife very boring.

  2)以分词短语开头

  Disturbed by the discord of American life in recent decades,Menchester took flight for the pacific islands.

  3)以不定式短语开头

  To pass the exam,you should work very hard.
  二、巧用连接词

  有的学生在作文中使用过多简单句,成了简单句堆砌;有的写复杂句时,动辄用so, and,then,but,or,however,yet等非但达不到丰富表达方式的目的,反而使句子结构松散、呆板。为了避免这种现象,可以通过使用连接词,尤其是一些表示从属关系的连接词,如 who,which,that,because,since,although,after,as,before,when,whenever,if,unless,as if等,不仅能够丰富句型,而且还能够把思想表达得更清楚,意义更连贯。例如:

  Natural resources are very limited.They will be exhausted in the near future.It is not true.But it becomes a major concern around the world.This is a widely accepted fact.

  这段文字用简单句表达,它们之间内在的逻辑关系含糊不清,意思支离破碎。如果使用连接词,将单句与其前后合并,形成主次关系,就把一个比较复杂的内容和关系表达得层次清楚、结构严谨。例如:

  It is a widely accepted fact that there is a major concern around the world for the exhaustion of limited natural resources in the near future,though it is unlikely to be true.

  再如:

  The Mississippi River is one of the longest rivers in the world,and in spring time it often overflows its banks,and the lives of many people are endangered.

  此句用and把三个分句一贯到底,既乏味又可笑。如果使用了关系代词which,语义就会更连贯,语言也会更流畅:

  The Mississippi River,which is one of the longest rivers in the world,often overflows its banks in the spring time,endangering the lives of many people.

以上就是雅思无忧网为您准备的访问雅思无忧网(https://www.yasi.cn/),了解更多雅思考试新消息,新动态。

雅思培训
免责声明:文章内容来自网络,如有侵权请及时联系删除。
推荐阅读
标签 - 专题
  鲁ICP备18049789号-14

2022雅思无忧网版权所有 All right reserved. 版权所有

警告:未经本网授权不得转载、摘编或利用其它方式使用上述作品