雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文修改：学生分班问题

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文修改：学生分班问题，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

雅思作文修改：学生分班问题

The notions of tracking and ability grouping have been contentious topics since the 1970s. Should students be grouped according to their academic ability?

There is much discussion these days about the notions of tracking and ability grouping since the 1970s. Some people believe that it is damaging to students’ development, while others harbor the opinion that it is beneficial for them. From my point of view, I am definitely in agreement with the latter opinion.

In the first instance, it is easier for teachers to teach according to their academic ability. Teachers should not worry about the students who get lower grades will not understand what they said（teach） during the class anymore. If teachers spend more time explaining for the students with lower ability, it is a waste of time for the students who has understood. It is unfair.

Secondly, it is the best way to study together for the students with the same level. They can discuss, exchange their ideas and deal with problems together. However, if now there are some students with lower levels among them, the students may be too shy to express their views, for they are afraid of being laughed at. Perhaps, those students would become more and more introverted resulting from this. Furthermore, the competition between students with higher levels is so fierce that they should try all the way out to keep their positions in the class, imaging it, can the rest students adapt to this situation? I think it is likely to have an unfavorable influence on their confidence.

Even though some people think it is rather bad to distinct the students, if students can benefit from this, I strongly suggest that we can take it into account.

All in all, in my opinion, I am in high favor that students should be grouped according to their ability because this can help students develop better in the future.

这篇文章整体结构很清晰，各部分处理的也不错

缺点在于：

第一，两段立论段落论述的比较单薄

你分成了两段，对学生，对老师

如果让我给你建议，我会这样分段：

1. 对学生学习方面的影响

2. 对学生心理层面的影响

这样可能会更有深度

第二，开头段的直接引入太简单了，改为大范围会好一点，这是我们上课讲的一个重点

With the rapid social development, there are many arguments about education, among which the notions of tracking and ability grouping since the 1970s could be one of the most remarkable one. Quite a few people believe that it is damaging to students’ development, but in practice, i hold the opinion that it is beneficial for them.

如果我来打分的话：band 5/5.5

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