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雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 三步剔除雅思作文软肋:耗时没头绪中式英语

更新:2023年03月26日 07:51 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 三步剔除雅思作文软肋:耗时没头绪中式英语,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 三步剔除雅思作文软肋:耗时没头绪中式英语

雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯


大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子,假如你是雅思考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态:数据变化时间为1985-2000,为一般过去,考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致:However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数,谓语动词单数,主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数:There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态:as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

三步剔除雅思作文软肋:耗时没头绪中式英语

  在雅思写作过程中, 有些学生作文存在着数量与质量的矛盾。那么,何谓数量?何谓质量呢?数量指的是在task 2规定的40分钟时间写不满250个词。质量指的是,考生作文根本就没有达到写作评分的四项标准。因此就出现了两种情况:第一种,字数写满了,可是通篇逻辑混乱或者句式错误百出,词不达意;第二种,文章逻辑基本过关,基本语法错误也不多,可是文章没达到基本的字数要求。针对此问题, 本文将从以下三个方面来主要分析造成雅思写作速度慢这种问题的主要原因并相应地给考生提出一些解决的建议。

首先:审题耗时较多

考生审题出现偏差,无法准确地把握住出题者意图,从而在构思过程中思维很“纠结”,因此拖缓了写作速度。事实上,在审题过程中,一定要找到这个题目的关键词,再进一步找到关键词中的题眼,这样才能把握住文章讨论的重点和中心,从而不至于偏离主题。这样也会减少一些不必要的“纠结”,从而加快了写作速度,更重要的是同时也提高了写作质量。

比如:

Young childrenshould stay in kindergartens or nursery schools so that their mothers canreturn to work earlier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

在这个题目审题过程中,我们应该把握住以下关键词:young children;kindergartens (nursery schools); mothers; work. 在这些关键词中,题眼是kindergartens (nursery schools)。所以,题目是要考生讨论,幼儿园的作用到底能不能减轻母亲抚育孩子的负担,从而使她们能尽早地踏入工作岗位。我们再具体缩减一点,其实中心就是要讨论幼儿园的功能。如果这样做的话,那么文章的中心意思就明确多了。可有的学生却又讨论起了为什么年轻的妈妈们要出去工作,诸如重新融入社会的需要等等,因此,这样思考的考生在写作过程中显得犹豫不决甚至不知所措,当然最后会影响写作速度,更重要的是违背了出题者意图,从而导致更大的失分。所以,切记,纠结地写作看似想法多,角度多,实则是因为题目重点把握失误形成的假像,要想提高写作速度及质量必须要仔细研读题目,找出中心,从而有效地进行下一步的论证。

其次,论据积累不够

题目所涉及到的话题相关的背景信息积累较少,从而碰到题目无话可说。虽然雅思写作不会涉及到太专业的题材(即使社会题材中涉及的面较广,但是都是考生有话可说得题材), 可是即使这样,有的考生平时却不太关注生活,碰到一些周遭常见的社会现象又没有思考的习惯,并且同时又不积极地去通过范文有心地进行积累。那么,考生看到这些题材时有很强烈的陌生感,而这种陌生感会使考生即使搅尽脑汁却如母鸡下蛋般挤出一个个单词,当然会极大地影响写作速度。举个例子,比如2021年2月4日的写作真题:

Some people think young people shouldfollow the tradition of the society. Others think young people should be freeto behave as individual. Discuss both view points and give you own opinion。

在这个题目中,如果考生对于tradition of the society(社会传统)所涉及到的方面及其特点一无所知,那么,即使使出浑身解数,也终会举步维艰。

最后,句式基本功不扎实

考生在句式表达的思索中浪费了大量时间。考生特别是目标是6分基础段和突破段考生本身语言句式功底就薄弱,所以,在这种情况下试想,让一个基本句式都写不正确的人在规定的时间内写出一篇逻辑紧密地文章显然难度较大。特别是6分段的考生,在简单句都不太确定是否正确的情况下却要去用复合句等所谓的高级句式,肯定会漏洞百出。另外,中国式英语思维在延缓考生写作速度方面“功不可没”,特别是在英语句式表达过程中先将句式用中文想好了,然后才在大脑里机械地翻译成英文,最后才用笔付诸于纸张,在这样的情况下,可想而知,句式表达错误肯定是相当多并且句式肯定是极其的不地道,因此,要想在规定之类写完作文简直天方夜谭,就算是在规定时间内恰好写完了,那么文章也将会是惨不忍睹。

综上所述,雅思考生想要提高雅思的写作速度,至少应该做到以下三点:

第一,

看到题目时候,马上确定关键词,然后确定题眼即出题者意图。

第二,

平时多积累论据,包括平时自己对于身边的社会问题多积极地加以思考以及间接地进行积累论据。

第三,

平时多积累一些基本句式常用的地道表达并多做句式翻译练习。

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