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雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文中最好避免的句子

更新:2023年03月26日 16:39 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文中最好避免的句子,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文中最好避免的句子

雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯

大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子,假如你是雅思(课程)考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.



In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态:数据变化时间为1985-2000,为一般过去,考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致:However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数,谓语动词单数,主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数:There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态:as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

雅思作文中最好避免的句子

发帖:wendyyin

大概说下自己的情况.我IELTS也是考了N次,虽然最终过了,但是过得很勉强.所以决定在正式的MASTER上课前先读2个月的语言.目前已经上了2个星期的课,总体来说还是颇有些收获的.这2周内已经写了2篇IELTS作文,语言课程的老师从我们的ESSAY中挑出了一堆毛病.把错误之处一一讲解给我们.个人觉得很有用,编辑出来给大家,希望大家能够从中受益.

1. a lot of/lots of
这对词组一般不要出现在academic essay中,考官已经看烦了.可以用A considerable number of代替

2. Everything has two sides/every coin has tow sides
说了跟没说一样,明显的事实,以后也不要用了

3. Recently
这个词不好.按照他们的说法就是too imprecise,没有一个具体的时间.可以用 In the last 5 years…/since….代替

4. There is survey……
老师是这么说的:has there been?/only say this if you actually know of one 也就是说考官知道这些都是你编的,最好不要用了

5. And, because, but
这三个词我们还是经常会用到.其实最好用in addition, therefore, however等代替

6. 不能用vivid 来形容world vivid可以用来说memories或者是dream之类的

7. No one can deny that…/Undoubtedly
这2个词组太绝对了,用来开头并不合适. 其实每个人都能持与你意见相反的态度

8. in a word
很多人会用它来做conclusion. 鬼佬的意见是:如果你准备用这个词组来引出你的观点,那你最好用一个词来概括,谁让你是这么写的呢

9. Meanwhile don’t use in general academic writing or for task 2—but it is ok for describing a process in task 1

10. Nowadays
理由和3差不多, 这个词用在文章里显得太普通了, 老师的原话是it does not mean very much

11. It is a well known fact… 最好不要用, 有的考官会扣分

12. advantages and disadvantages 换成merits and drawback 和pros and cons

13. In my opinion, I dis/agree with this
这是多余的表达. When stating your opinion you follow with a fact 相信大家都能看懂,就不翻译了

14. IELTS文章中千万不能用缩写, 例如I’m 在考场上别犯懒,平时最好也别写缩写,多多注意,养成习惯

15. very不能用来形容delicious, lovely, fantastic, wonderful, amazing, gorgeous and huge.

16. human being MS这个词指的是动物+植物, 以后可以用man kind代替

阅读理解里做题,做到只要出现极端词汇的题,99。************************9%都是错的——相信无论是应试还是别个老师一定说过这句话。

如果这条成立,为什么在自己的作文里还会出现什么
as we all know?
it can not be denied?

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