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雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思写作指导:雅思作文的引导观念

更新:2023年03月28日 04:15 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思写作指导:雅思作文的引导观念,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思写作指导:雅思作文的引导观念

雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯


大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子,假如你是雅思考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态:数据变化时间为1985-2000,为一般过去,考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致:However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数,谓语动词单数,主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数:There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态:as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

雅思写作指导:雅思作文的引导观念

一、 指导学生多阅读

阅读可以积累写作素材,可以丰富知识,开阔视野。积累词语、佳句,可以充实作文的内容。多读、熟读、广记这是积累写作素材有效的办法。 阅读积累是作文教学的“重中之重”。教学中,我们要把它视为一个关键的环节来抓,力求丰富学生的语言库存。 

1、推荐好的读物 

为了避免学生读书的盲目性,我常给学生推荐一些好的课外读物。趣味浓厚的科普读物、图文并茂的童话故事、催人泪下的战斗故事、意义深远的抒情散文。此外,还给学生推荐相关课本知识的拓展阅读材料。如学了《*火柴的小女孩》后,让学生阅读《安徒生童话选》……。 

2、指导学生作好读书笔记 

写读书笔记主要采取两种形式:一种是摘录好词佳句,优美片段。摘抄最终是达到积累的目的。对于学生摘抄的内容,可采取教师点名背、学生交换背等方式。让学生把摘抄的内容牢固地储存到记忆的仓库里;第二种形式是写读书心得,指导学生从多角度去写,可以从写作技巧方面谈感受,也可以从思想方面谈体会……学生的读书笔记天天批阅,并定期开展“讲、展、赛”活动,以此来激励学生多读、深思、勤记,养成良好的读书习惯。“问渠哪得清如许,为有源头活水来”,只有不断地给学生充电,学生才会得心应手地薄发

二、引导学生多观察

作文训练是一项语文综合能力训练,需要观察、思维、表达密切配合。观察是有目的、有方向的知觉,是学生认识事物、了解世界、获得知识的重要途径,也是训练学生说、写能力的基础。只要我们注意观察、感受一番,就会发现周围有许许多多的事物可以入文;只要我们热爱生活,留心周围的生活,认真地想一想,就会发现生活中有许许多多看似很不起眼儿的小事,但确确实实是很好的作文素材。鲁迅先生曾说:“若要创作,第一须观察。”所以每一位教师都要注意全面地指导学生观察,使其掌握相应的观察方法,写出内容丰富的、有创意的作文因此,在写作教学中,我们应鼓励学生全景式的扫描生活,用自己的眼睛,以自己的心去感受、理解生活,挖掘生活中最熟悉、最能打动心灵的宝藏,*人真事,抒真情实感。如“以自然景观”为话题的习作,我们可以引导学生有意识的去发现,如在放学路上、公园里、家里的庭院中,发现的花草树木;又如晚间繁星、日出日落、雨后彩虹,或者在外出旅游时,看过一些奇特的景观等等,引导学生去体验身边的自然美。有这样一句话:“必须寻到源头,方有清甘的水喝。” 这“源头”就是五彩缤纷的生活,让生活成为学生自己真正的创作源泉。 

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