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雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 正确审题:助你直通雅思作文6分

更新:2023年03月28日 19:09 雅思无忧

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雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 正确审题:助你直通雅思作文6分

雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失


  对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
  题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
  原文:
  It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
  修改:
  It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
  has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
  My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
  (this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
  My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
  considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
  My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
  All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
  以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

正确审题:助你直通雅思作文6分

  多数考生都反映作文分能拿到六分就已经很开心了,那么什么样的作文能拿到六分?写作最重要的一点,不偏题!下面就如何正确审题提点自己的看法。Now many people think that we are spending too much money and time on protecting wildanimals. The money should be better spent on human population. Do you agree or disagree?目前很多人认为我们在保护野生动物上花费得太多,这些钱如果用在人身上会更好。你赞成还是反对?

  题目分析:

  本题为近期考到的另一道考题,题目把保护动物和促进人类发展两个表面矛盾的目的对立起来。如果深入考虑这两个目的,我们可以发现动物保护和人类发展之间虽然相互独立,但并不矛盾。考生可以分别陈述、论证保护野生动物的理由,最后再加以归纳。也可以采取相反的论点并加以论证。

  有的同学在论述支持野生动物保护的论点中提到:Scientists have found that the body of certain kinds of animal contains genes that are similar to those of humanbeing sand could be used to treat diseases in the future.

  考生如果继续探讨动物基因和人基因的相似性,就偏离了题目要求的重心。应该考虑的重点要遵循:因为动物基因对治疗人类疾病可能有帮助,所以保护野生动物是有益的,反之则可能对人类自身产生负面影响这个大思路。

  由以上例子不难看出,写作的审题还是很容易产生一定偏差的。我们在下笔写字之前一定要花五分钟时间研究下题目,确保不偏题,这才是写作能够拿六分的一个保证。

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