必杀秘笈突破雅思作文难关 雅思作文修改：网络代替学校

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了必杀秘笈突破雅思作文难关 雅思作文修改：网络代替学校，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

必杀秘笈突破雅思作文难关

作文是很多烤鸭的心病，一提到作文大家心里就是百感交集啊！雅思作文是两篇，一大一小，小作文呢大家可能觉得不以为然，只要在规定的时间内凑够150个单词就可以了。但事实并非如此的，小作文在雅思考试中也是不容忽视的，所以下面我们就来和大家谈谈怎么提高英语写作，尤其是小作文的问题。 　　1.答题时间安排。小作文和大作文的时间安排应该没有什么硬性的规定，但是一般如果你觉得大作文比较难写的话建议先写大作文，毕竟大作文所占分值高。当然我们还是需要多留一些时间给大作文的，因为大作文本身就非常复杂。 　　2.文字要精炼。写雅思小作文的时候一定要抓住主要内容，面面俱到我们是不可能做到的，因为这是小作文。更切记不要为了达到字数而“滥竽充数”。关于小作文的字数，童鞋们切忌不要少于150个字数，因为这属于基本的task没有完成；当然，也不是字数越多越好。 　　3.时态。由于小作文给出的时间坐标多以过去时间为主，所以主要时态为一般为过去时，但也有其他时态，这个要看时间坐标和具体行文。 　　4.架构。专家提醒考生，要求简洁，条理和层次，开篇引入段、中间描述段，结尾总结段无疑是非常好的架构。着重说一下中间描述段，行文尽量利于对比和类比，从图表给出的数据和图形本身入手，巧妙使用比较级、最高级以及分数、倍数等语法手段进行立体感强烈的多方位描述，行文展开的同时要注重逻辑性(老外很看重)。 　　5.措词和炼句。小作文本身字数不多，如果用来表现主要信息量的单词出现重复势必会影响得分，这里给小作文的词汇多样性提出了很高的要求。句子方面，不宜过于复杂，力求精辟，可多用插入语和伴随状语。另外小作文是客观性文章，不要出现带有主观意识的词汇和句子。 　　6.卷面整洁。考官批阅时间有限，如果字迹潦草无疑会影响考官评分；写完后检查错别字，不要因为错别字扣分，你会伤不起。

雅思作文修改：网络代替学校

很多同学发来四段式的作文给我，但是真正能写好四段式的没有几个，下面这篇的错误比较典型，给大家参考。

题目如下：schools are no longer necessary, because children can get so much information available through Internet, and they can study just as well at home.What extent do you agree or disagree?

Scientific developments have brought us many benefits, among which the internet must be the most spectacular one. In the near future, it might take the place of schools so that it is convenient for children to obtain knowledge.

我很高兴地看到你可以把上课时讲的很多句子和单词应用在这篇四段式文章中，但是我划横线的句子表现出了你一定的倾向性，你可以把这句改为（there has long been a discussion about the opinion that whether the internet could take the place of schools.）这样可以做到客观的引入话题，而不表明观点。

With time going by, Internet has become an encyclopedia in some degree. It seems that there are an increasing number of children are fund of getting information from the Internet. Some of them are in a great need of gaining information while others just surf it as a hobby. As is known to all that encyclopedia is large enough to satisfy those little children and of course the knowledge in textbooks is included. In that case, there is no need to employ teachers to teach children. As a result children can study just as well at home and get a good grade.

However, there are certainly demerits in studying at home with the Internet. People who make the webpages can make mistakes and some knowledge is completely wrong. As a child, it is not an easy job to distinguish the information. Unlike at home, children are able to obtain knowledge in a systematic way. Besides, children who study at home are more withdrawn than those who study at schools. What is more, children don’t require teachers and that means people who now are teachers will lose their jobs. It may cause the dissipation of human resources and their families are in great trouble of making a living.

上面一段有两个问题：

1.负面的问题我觉得分析的不够，错误应该只是一个小的方面，更重要的应该是：没有人引导，孩子的学习效率会比较低下。

2.我读了划横线的句子后，感觉你的观点应该是支持网络替代学校，因为你用了，certainly这个让步词，但是你在下面一段却表明了跟我的猜测相反的观点，前后不一致，这个是致命的错误。

My view is that schools are still necessary in the future. That is the best way for children to not only get their knowledge in a systematic way but also develop their interpersonal skills. Internet is, in the long run , just a tool to widen their horizons.

如果我打分的话，Band 5

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