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雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 A类(学术类)雅思作文题集锦

更新:2023年03月29日 16:54 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 A类(学术类)雅思作文题集锦,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 A类(学术类)雅思作文题集锦

雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯

大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子,假如你是雅思(课程)考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.



In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态:数据变化时间为1985-2000,为一般过去,考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致:However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数,谓语动词单数,主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数:There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态:as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

A类(学术类)雅思作文题集锦

1.有人认为对待动物应该如宠物一般,有人认为动物是食物和衣服的主要来源,请讨论

Some people think that the animals should be treated as pets, others think that animals are resources of food and clothing. What is your opinion?
  
2.现代社会电视广告在人们的生活中十分普及,人们需要的也*,不需要的也*,尤其是青少年受到的影响特别深,有些人认为要限制广告,你的看法?
  
With the development of market economy advertisements have become a dominant feature in television industry descript the rich information brought by TV, there still exits strong critici* against TV advertisements. Write on article *yzing the passive and negative effects of TV advertisements.
  
3.人类登月进行探索已有30多年历史,有人认为类似科研活动浪费金钱时间,你的看法如何?
  
Some people believe that government spends too much money on space research while there are still a lot of problems on the earth. Do you agree or disagree?
  
4.有些人认为*不应该把大量的资金用于艺术建设,因为对于国家来说有更重要的事情要解决,你的看法?
  
It is wrong that our government pays more money to the artist projects, for instance, there are more and more paintings and sculptures appearing at the public places, because there are more important things to do. What is your opinion?
 
5.贫穷国家现在已经认识到卫生,教育,贸易对国家发展的重要性,许多人认为发达国家应该对这些贫穷国家予以支持。你的观点?
  
Some people think that the developed countries should fund international aid to poor countries to help these developing countries to develop domestic health, education and trade. What is your opinion?
  
6.现代生活中,许多人认为现在的工作压力比以前大了,闲暇时间更少,你的看法如何?

Many people think that work nowadays is more stressful and less leisurely than in the past, how about you opinion?
  
7.现代社会青少年犯罪问题(三个方面:吸毒,酗酒,自杀)
 
Young drug abuse is a serious problem nowadays in many countries, what are the reasons for this and what can be done to combat it? (drug 毒品药丸,alcohol and tobacco,香烟和酒精,* 自杀)
  
8.许多人对新千年很乐观,认为这是一个机会让我们的世界发生一些变化,你是否同意这种说法,你希望看到世界有何变化?
  
Some people think that the new Millennium is the opportunity while others think it is danger. What do you think about it and what do you expect to happen in the new Millennium.
  
9.发展中国家是应该致力于发展本国的科技研究还是发展人文教育上?你的看法?

Should developing countries concentrate on Improving industrial skills and modern technology or should they promote education first?

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