雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 给作文加点料：雅思作文中实用的12则高分谚语

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 给作文加点料：雅思作文中实用的12则高分谚语，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

给作文加点料：雅思作文中实用的12则高分谚语

1.没有朋友的人是可怜的人，他们的生活不可能幸福。

Those who have no friends are poor people and you cannot expect them to be happy.

2.我们应该善于区分真朋友与酒肉朋友。

We should be able to distinguish real friends from purely business-typed ones.

3.交友不慎反受其害。

You fall victim to your friends if you are not selective of them.

4.俗话说：“近朱者赤，近墨者黑。”

As the saying goes: Hanging around with honest friends, you learn to be honest; hanging around with dishonest friends, you learn to be dishonest.

5.有位朋友告诉我，在她的眼里，友谊比婚姻更宝贵。

A friend of mine once told me that in her eyes, friendship is more precious than marriage.

6.我认为友谊与婚姻从某种意义上讲非常相似，因为婚姻首先就应该是从友谊起步，是男女之间友谊的最高境界，但不是最后的终点。

I hold that in a sense, friendship and marriage are very similar because marriage is supposed to get started from friendship and is thus the highest level of friendship but not the finishing line.

7.我认为这种观点有些夸张，朋友毕竟是朋友，无论如何也替代不了夫妻关系。

I think this view has some exaggeration in it. After all, friends are only friends and in no way could they replace the hu*and-wife relation.

8.不可否认，许多人非常势利，他们愿意与我们交朋友是因为我们对他们会有用处。

There’s no denying that some people are very snobbish and they would like to make friends with us simply because we are useful to them.

9.有时候，我们会因为被朋友欺骗了而感到特别伤心，因为真正的朋友不应该是这样子的。

Sometimes we may feel extremely sad when a friend has cheated us, for real friends should not be like that.

10.你可以一段时间里愚弄所有的人，或永远愚弄一部分人，但你绝对不可能永远愚弄所有的人。

You can fool all people some of the time or some people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.

11.一提起友谊，我们总有没完没了的话可说，因为我们的朋友常常给我们带来无尽的欢乐。

Talking about friendship, we all have much to say because our friends always bring us endless joys and happiness.

12.有些人喜欢结交性格、爱好与自己相似的人，但也有人喜欢结交与自己非常不同的人，这些其实都不重要。

Some people choose friends who are different from themselves while others would like to have friends who are similar to themselves. This is, in fact, not important.

以上这些写作谚语，大家在雅思作文中可以适当加入，体现自己的写作水平，也可以达到让人眼前一亮的效果，祝大家考试顺利！

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