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雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题

更新:2023年03月29日 22:51 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题

雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯


大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子,假如你是雅思考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态:数据变化时间为1985-2000,为一般过去,考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致:However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数,谓语动词单数,主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数:There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态:as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题

雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题(答案)

审题练习 针对所给的雅思作文题目以及框架,选择适当的分支观点在其后用“√”标出

例 Some people think that universities should provide knowledge and skills related to future career. Others think the true function of the university is to give access to knowledge for its own sake. What is your opinion? (一边倒+让步式,认为大学应该教授学生与未来就业相关的知识和技能,但是也有其他责任。)

一边倒A+ 认为大学应该教授学生与未来就业相关的知识和技能
A+1: 大学的责任就是教给学生知识和技能
A+2: 大学的职能之一,就是教给学生足以用来谋生的知识和技能 √
A+3:毕业生就业率的高低,现在已经成为大学排名和学生择校时考虑的一个重要指标,事关大学生存和发展。 √
A+4: 学生选择上大学,绝大多数是存在着这样的假设:起码要大学毕业,才好找工作 √
A+5:大学不能固步自封,应该与时俱进,研究实际学问,讲授实际知识和技能,大学培养的,绝不是书呆子,而是能够解决实际问题的实用人才 √
A+6:大学讲授跟学生未来工作紧密联系的知识和技能,学生们才能在未来赚回他们的教育投资
A+7:大学的确要教给学生跟他们未来工作相关的知识和技能,这简直不用讨论

一边倒里套用倒打一耙 B-
B-1: 大学讲授的东西与实际需要脱节,无法吸引学生兴趣,学生缺乏学习动力 √
B-2:大学如果不给学生传授跟他们未来工作紧密联系的知识和技能,家长会感到失望

让步 B+ 承认大学也有其他责任、职能
B+1:从广义上来讲,知识和技能,总能够直接或者间接跟未来的工作关联起来,所以这个题目从某种意义上讲是不用讨论的√
B+2:大学不是职业技术学校,培养的不但是具有工作能力的人,而且应该是有理想、上进、爱国的合格的公民√
B+3:大学教授理论、基础,培养学生思维和学习能力,是一项重要的任务,学生可以在以后的工作中根据实际需要自学或自修,毕竟学习是没有止境的,贯穿一生,大学不可能教学生一辈子,但是大学学到的东西可以让学生收益一辈子√
B+4:大学开设的科目、课程,包括跟工作不直接相关的历史、文学艺术、思想品德、政策法规等,都是前人智慧的结晶或者成为一个有涵养的人所必需的知识√
B+5:大学想教什么就教什么,别人无权指指点点。

分析:
一边倒A+ 认为大学应该教授学生与未来就业相关的知识和技能

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