雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文Task1写作常识

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文Task1写作常识，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

雅思作文Task1写作常识

一、图形种类及概述法：
泛指一份数据图表：a data graph/chart/diagram/illustration/table
饼图：pie chart
直方图或柱形图：bar chart / histogram
趋势曲线图：line chart / curve diagram
表格图：table
流程图或过程图：flow chart / sequence diagram
程序图：processing/procedures diagram

以下是一些较常用的描述用法
The table/chart diagram/graph shows (that)
According to the table/chart diagram/graph
As (is) shown in the table/chart diagram/graph
As can be seen from the table/chart/diagram/graph/figures,
figures/statistics shows (that)...
It can be seen from the figures/statistics
We can see from the figures/statistics
It is clear from the figures/statistics
It is apparent from the figures/statistics
table/chart/diagram/graph figures (that) ...
table/chart/diagram/graph shows/describes/illustrates how
......

阅卷考官经常是不会看那些图表的，因此文章必须逻辑清晰，如果描述得能令人在脑海里勾画出那个data chart，这篇task1无疑会达到8分的水平。开篇的第一句话可以是一句高度概括性的introduction（当然开门见山直接描述也是一种写法）；这样做不仅使文章更趋于完美，而且可以达到凑字数的目的（但不要照抄题目，除非时间相当紧迫）。接下来另起一段开始进行描述（根据实际情况1-2段），这当中经常要连续使用非限定性定于从句，从而使得描述过程流畅、清晰。最后也可再另起一段进行简短的综述（并非必须）。上述的任何一个步骤都要遵循依据现有data进行客观描述的原则，任何推测性或议论性的内容写得再多、再精彩不仅不会加分，而且还会成为扣分的因素。

二、data的具体表达法

data在某一个时间段固定不变：fixed in time
在一系列的时间段中转变：changes over time
持续变化的data在不同情况下:
增加：increase / raise / rise / go up ...
减少：decrease / grow down / drop / fall ...
波动：fluctuate / rebound / undulate / wave ...
稳定：remain stable / stabilize / level off ...

最常用的两种表达法：
动词 + 副词形式（Verb+Adverb form）
形容词 + 名词形式（Adjective+Noun form）
　　
1. Verb+Adverb form
The number of XXX
+increase/jump/rise/decrease/drop/fall/fluctuate...
+insignificantly/significantly/slightly/suddenly/rapidly/dramatically/sharply/steeply/steadily/gradually/slowly...
+from (第一时间) to (第二时间) / between (第一时间) and (第二时间)

2. Adjective+Noun form
There was a (very) sudden/rapid/dramatic/significant/sharp/steep/steady/gradual/slow/slight
+increase/jump/rise/decrease/drop/fall/fluctuation （注意：上述很多词不可用于修饰fluctuation）
+in the number of XXX from (第一时间) to (第二时间) / between (第一时间) and (第二时间)

以上就是雅思无忧网为您准备的访问雅思无忧网(https://www.yasi.cn/)，了解更多雅思考试新消息，新动态。

雅思培训
免责声明：文章内容来自网络，如有侵权请及时联系删除。