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如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文 看考官批作文

更新:2023年03月30日 08:39 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文 看考官批作文,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文 看考官批作文

如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文

  雅思大作文考的是议论文,即考查考生是否能够在相对较短的时间内搜集论据,具体地论证自己的观点。但受国内教育体制的影响,中国考生往往缺乏对这些社会话题的深刻思考和讨论,造成思考模式的僵化与狭隘,写的太“官腔。

  雅思大作文考的是议论文,即考查考生是否能够在相对较短的时间内搜集论据,具体地论证自己的观点。但受国内教育体制的影响,中国考生往往缺乏对这些社会话题的深刻思考和讨论,造成思考模式的僵化与狭隘,因而论证非常空洞、缺乏说服力,写的太“官腔。

  那么,应该如何对大作文进行有力的论证呢?最常用的方式就是解释和例证,几乎在每一篇雅思大作文中,都可以看见这两种论证方法的身影。

  下面关于“work at home or study at home”的一段例证:

  IBM, one of the business giants, has saved nearly 70 million US dollars in its northeastern region by promoting telecommuting, which has been a driving force to other enterprises to convert their normal working staff into telecommuters. Companies in Japan are one of them and plan to launch the scheme in 2009, which, in turn, spiritually wins more supports from the existing employees, and attracts new hires. 这段话中的2个例子(商业巨头IBM和日本的企业计划)都较好地完成了“若员工选择在家上班,会对公司带来积极的作用”这一证明。

  此外,提醒考生们需要注意的是,雅思大作文明确指出“give reasons or examples from your own experience”, 这里的“your own experience”和“your personal experience”是完全不同的概念。前者是指通过个人的学习和总结而获得的经验,后者是指个人经历或周围某个个体的故事。如谈到“working hard produces better results”, “your own experience”的例子一定是“some 3-year-high school students usually stay up late to review lessons and prepare for next day classes”, 而“your personal experience”的例子则应该是“my roommate, Tony has always been working hard on studies and staying up late every night”, 不难看出两者的区别。故雅思大作文是不能使用个人案例的论据的,这一点与新托福的写作也是不同的。

  另外,数据论证也是一个重要的方法,同时也是国外文章中非常常见的。使用这种方式,需要注意两点:数据和数据的来源。数据的真实性不重要,但至少要看上去是“真实的”。如:A survey by the latest Ministry of Labour’s opinion poll shows that more companies would like to open their doors to disabled people, as long as they can access to modern technology, and the rate has been increasing every year by 5% since 2003.

  使用数据论证,提醒考生们不要刻意将数据夸张,这样反而会降低数据的真实可靠性。常见的句型有“a survey by….shows that / a research by….finds out that / a study by….suggests that / Statistics by….conclude that…”省略号的部分是需要根据文章的内容来填写的数据来源出处或机构。常用的机构包括:国外大学、学院、报纸、杂志、电视台、之声、网站、研究机构、民意调查等。我们按顺序给大家做一个示范:the University of Sussex, Business College of several European countries, the USATODAY, state media CNN, BBC Talking Point, , American Institute for Research, Harris Interactive Poll等,考生可按照自己的情况,来准备几个备选方案以供使用。

何为高分雅思作文 看考官批作文

  请看下面这个小作文的开头段,看似行文流水,实则欲哭无泪。

  As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句,小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句,而孰不知此句虽好,但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。若论行文习惯,实在勉强。再者,“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑。但是烤鸭们,不知啊,你让他笑,他却让你人比黄花瘦,尽管他是那样的爱你。此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”,考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉。但考官会认为是“这table就是表格,也就是图的一种,还后面要是再加一chart,再来一图。实为black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词,感觉倒是亲民派系, 考官考生一家人啊。但是,雅思写作,半学术文体,这词总有点较为随意。所以,宁为被动,隐去施动者,换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句,或许会更好点。考生最无辜的地方就是下面的这个percentage。我们都知道,衣服表格不可能只有全图一个数据,又怎会遗忘名词单复数的问题呢?最后那个“in 2002 in five different countries”,感觉起来好似是信息满满,不知道是否也是信心满满?语法老师告诉我们:当句子中同时有地点状语和时间状语时,一般要把地点状语放在时间状语之前 。要知道,不走寻常路,那是考官的作风。考生要是也这样做,哭泣大于微笑。   雅思作文这样批,你懂的……---系列二   People have, in rercent years, shown concern on the dire consequences of global warming and air pollution. Some people suggest that we should limit are travel(travelling) instead of car use. It seems to me that the objection against air travel is based on incorrect facts and stereotypes.(The)Vehicle is an integral segment of urban industrial civilization, mirroring contemporary life, in its best and unrest aspects.   Just as machinery is integral to industrialization, air is central to world economy.(有逻辑关系吗?)Air travels make it possible for people to move around the world freely and quickly. Today, the tips can be completed in a matter of hours. One can attend a meeting in Pairs and dinner in New York the same day. There is a growing recognition that air travels have several advantages, while(连接词使用有误,改成meanwhile)it can(补上主语) ensures(删掉s) the growth of modern business such as international touri*, transportation and express delivery ,etc. Therefore, limiting air travel itself is a grave mistake ,that (非限定从句引导词改成which)would be a severe blow to these industries and may even damage world economy.   It’s true that one long-distance flight consumes more fuel and causes even more pollution than a car journey. But air trips have more outweight than car journey in the long journey (什么意思?)and the numbers of passengers. However, cars also can release gases that pollution the air, and cause great damage human health. Giving up air travels for(应改成instead of) car journeys(什么意思?) hoping there will be less pollution is certainly a fruitless act.   According to the above *ysis, we can observe that limiting air travels cannot solve the environmental problems. We should aim at developing cleaner fuels an more efficient engines that will allow us to enjoy travelling without putting the environment in danger   终极点评:结构安排较好,5.5基本保证。但细节错误过多,尤其是衔接手段较为机械。

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