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雅思作文不同分数段的不同开篇段落区别掌握 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

更新:2023年04月02日 01:15 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文不同分数段的不同开篇段落区别掌握 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文不同分数段的不同开篇段落区别掌握 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

雅思作文不同分数段的不同开篇段落区别掌握

如何应对雅思写作?

在雅思写作考试部分里,往往我们可以采纳“老三段”式的写法,以不变应万变,不论是线图,柱图,表格,饼图,亦或是流程图,我们都可以采用此种方式完成第一部分的作文。那么老三段式的经典写法中,强调着第一段“开门见山”介绍出本文讨论内容,即改写题目。将必要内容进行改写,这样可以获得高分效应。第二段“丰实的内容”尽量多地将图表中的信息表达明确,不时的需要我们之前总结的常用表达(敬请参见前几篇文章关于雅思作文经典表达介绍文章)。第三段也就是文章的最后一段,对全文进行一个总结概括即可。

那么本文将着眼于介绍开头段的常用高频高分表达,希望对众屠鸭有所帮助。也请屠鸭们积极准备!

五分表达:

The chart depicts (that)…该图呈现出…

The chart shows (that)…

The figures/statistics show (that)…

The diagram reveals …

The chart illustrates (that)…

六分表达:

The graph provides some interesting data regarding…该图为我们提供了有关…有趣数据。

The graph describes the trend of …这个图描述了…的趋势

As is shown/demonstrated/exhibited in the chart/diagram/chart/table…如图所示…

According to the chart …根据这些表格…

As is shown in the table…如图所示…

This table shows the changing proportion of A and B from … to …该表格描述了…年到…年之间A与B的比例关系。

This graph,presented in the chart,shows the general trend in…该图呈现了…总的趋势。

As can be seen from the graph, the two graphs show the flutuation of…如图所示,两条曲线描述了…的波动情况。

高分表达:

From the table/chart/diagram/figure,we can see clearly that…从图表中我们可以很清楚的看到…

The chart shows the changes in the number of …over the period from…to…该表格描述了在…年到…年之间…数量的变化。

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注:一篇学生的习作,里面出现的问题,尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后,应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文:

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评:

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显,而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路:即,BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此,首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点(已交代)。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如, “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证,需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误,希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后,提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改:

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