如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文 or

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文 or，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

如何避免写出“官腔”范儿的雅思作文

　　雅思大作文考的是议论文，即考查考生是否能够在相对较短的时间内搜集论据，具体地论证自己的观点。但受国内教育体制的影响，中国考生往往缺乏对这些社会话题的深刻思考和讨论，造成思考模式的僵化与狭隘，写的太“官腔。

　　雅思大作文考的是议论文，即考查考生是否能够在相对较短的时间内搜集论据，具体地论证自己的观点。但受国内教育体制的影响，中国考生往往缺乏对这些社会话题的深刻思考和讨论，造成思考模式的僵化与狭隘，因而论证非常空洞、缺乏说服力，写的太“官腔。

　　那么，应该如何对大作文进行有力的论证呢?最常用的方式就是解释和例证，几乎在每一篇雅思大作文中，都可以看见这两种论证方法的身影。

　　下面关于“work at home or study at home”的一段例证：

　　IBM, one of the business giants, has saved nearly 70 million US dollars in its northeastern region by promoting telecommuting, which has been a driving force to other enterprises to convert their normal working staff into telecommuters. Companies in Japan are one of them and plan to launch the scheme in 2009, which, in turn, spiritually wins more supports from the existing employees, and attracts new hires. 这段话中的2个例子(商业巨头IBM和日本的企业计划)都较好地完成了“若员工选择在家上班，会对公司带来积极的作用”这一证明。

　　此外，提醒考生们需要注意的是，雅思大作文明确指出“give reasons or examples from your own experience”， 这里的“your own experience”和“your personal experience”是完全不同的概念。前者是指通过个人的学习和总结而获得的经验，后者是指个人经历或周围某个个体的故事。如谈到“working hard produces better results”， “your own experience”的例子一定是“some 3-year-high school students usually stay up late to review lessons and prepare for next day classes”， 而“your personal experience”的例子则应该是“my roommate, Tony has always been working hard on studies and staying up late every night”， 不难看出两者的区别。故雅思大作文是不能使用个人案例的论据的，这一点与新托福的写作也是不同的。

　　另外，数据论证也是一个重要的方法，同时也是国外文章中非常常见的。使用这种方式，需要注意两点：数据和数据的来源。数据的真实性不重要，但至少要看上去是“真实的”。如：A survey by the latest Ministry of Labour’s opinion poll shows that more companies would like to open their doors to disabled people, as long as they can access to modern technology, and the rate has been increasing every year by 5% since 2003.

　　使用数据论证，提醒考生们不要刻意将数据夸张，这样反而会降低数据的真实可靠性。常见的句型有“a survey by….shows that / a research by….finds out that / a study by….suggests that / Statistics by….conclude that…”省略号的部分是需要根据文章的内容来填写的数据来源出处或机构。常用的机构包括：国外大学、学院、报纸、杂志、电视台、之声、网站、研究机构、民意调查等。我们按顺序给大家做一个示范：the University of Sussex, Business College of several European countries, the USATODAY, state media CNN, BBC Talking Point, , American Institute for Research, Harris Interactive Poll等，考生可按照自己的情况，来准备几个备选方案以供使用。

雅思作文修改：money spent on art or education

题目：Many countries spend a lot of money in art. Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on improving health and education. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the contemporary world, art cost（costs） a large figure of money. Some people claim is necessary to invest in art. But still have some people deem that fund should spend（be spent） more on improving health and education instead of art. As far as I am concerned, the first view is overly simplistic.

Speaking myself, protecting art and diffuse it, is the precondition of advancing health and education. The first instance with respect to this is that the aggression on china in the early twenty century. Union army from eight countries used force and entry Yuan-Ming Imperial Garden where save the outstanding representation of Chinese artworks. A greatest art gold mine was destroyed at that time may due to the government of Qing Dynasty inability to strengthen their military and lock of money to maintain it exist. Before long, opium was widespread in china and contributes to negative quality of generation. Second place, education has to link to art, art is a soul of nation. There is no denying that no one country educates offspring without art. To a great extent, investment in art is a significant factor contributing to the development of person happiness and enjoyment.

这段的论据有点扯远了，而且你说的有误，圆明园不是八国联军抢的，是英法联军，总之别说，英国人干的坏事

Admittedly, advancing health and education need not only vigor but fund of government. Those facilities need to maintain and invent, medical skills is become dramatically in the modern days. But when carefully weighting in mind, we may find that improving health and education are international issues, intake from international society is advisable. By contrast, art is unique for ant other country, ignore art is an inexcusable crime because art, once gone, is difficult to restore.

Overall, my view is that spend money in art is the precondition of advancing health and education. In despite of health and education is become increasingly dramatic, but those skills and facilities can intake from international society. For art, actually can not.

整篇文章我给5.5分

论据注意要由浅入深，

第一段，可以写艺术对于完善人的性格，对于个人修养的提高都是有好处的。

第二段，上升到社会的高度，投资艺术，建博物馆啊美术馆啊等，可以传承传统文化，保持民族特色

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