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雅思作文task1经典套句整理 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

更新:2023年04月05日 11:39 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文task1经典套句整理 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文task1经典套句整理 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

雅思作文task1经典套句整理

  1. the table shows the changes in the number of...over the period from...to...  该表格描述了在...年至...年间...数量的变化。
  2. the bar chart illustrates that...  该柱状图展示了...
  3. the graph provides some interesting data regarding...  该图为我们提供了有关...的有趣数据。
  4. the diagram shows (that)...  该图向我们展示了...
  5. the pie graph depicts (that)....  该饼图揭示了...
  6. this is a cure graph which describes the trend of...  这个曲线图描述了...的趋势。
  7. the figures/statistics show (that)...  数据(字)表明...
  8. the tree diagram reveals how...  该树型图向我们揭示了如何...
  9. the data/statistics show (that)...  该数据(字)可以这样理解...
  10. the data/statistics/figures lead us to the conclusion that...  这些数据资料令我们得出结论...
  11. as is shown/demonstrated/exhibited in the diagram/graph/chart/table...  如图所示...
  12. according to the chart/figures...  根据这些表(数字)...
  13. as is shown in the table...  如表格所示...
  14. as can be seen from the diagram, great changes have taken place in...  从图中可以看出,...发生了巨大变化。
  15. from the table/chart/diagram/figure, we can see clearly that...or it is clear/apparent from the chart that...  从图表中我们可以很清楚(明显)地看到...
  16. this is a graph which illustrates...  这个图表向我们展示了...
  17. this table shows the changing proportion of a & b from...to...  该表格描述了...年到...年间a与b的比例关系。
  18. the graph, presented in a pie chart, shows the general trend in...  该图以饼图形式描述了...总的趋势。
  19. this is a column chart showing...  这是个柱型图,描述了...
  20. as can be seen from the graph, the two curves show the fluctuation of...  如图所示,两条曲线描述了...的波动情况。

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注:一篇学生的习作,里面出现的问题,尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后,应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文:

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评:

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显,而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路:即,BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此,首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点(已交代)。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如, “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证,需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误,希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后,提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改:

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