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如何写好雅思作文的开头 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

更新:2023年04月05日 23:54 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何写好雅思作文的开头 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
如何写好雅思作文的开头 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

如何写好雅思作文的开头

  作文是雅思考试很重要的一环,今天就介绍几种雅思作文开头观点写法

  下面来看看有哪些句子:

  提出观点

  1. When asked about…, most people say… But many other people regard…as… I personally think…

  当被问及对……有什么看法时,大多数人认为……但是,还有很多人认为……我个人认为……

  2. When it comes to…, some people think that… Others argue that the opposite is true. There is probably some truth to both arguments, but…

  涉及……这一问题,有的人认为应该……另一些人持相反意见。也许双方的观点都有一定道理,但是……

  3. It is widely acknowledged that…contributed to… Experts argue that China must introduce… But I doubt whether…alone will solve the problem。

  人们普遍认为……专家认为中国必须推行……但我对仅仅……就能解决问题表示怀疑。

  4. An increasing number of people are joining… In reaction to the phenomenon, some say… But do they realize that…can also lead to…

  越来越多的人……进入了……针对这一现象,一些人认为……但是,他们有没有意识到……也能导致……

  5. One of the pressing problem facing our nation (China) today is…and…

  我们国家(中国)如今面临的紧迫问题之一是……

  6. Perhaps the most dangerous phenomenon gripping the nation today is…

  也许当今困扰国家的最危险的现象是……

  7. Never before in history has the issue of…been more evident than now。

  历史上,……的问题从来没有比现在更加突出。

  8. Perhaps it is time to reexamine the idea that…

  也许现在是应该重新考虑……的时候了。

  9. A growing number of people are beginning to realize that…is not the sole prerequisite for happiness。

  越来越多的人开始意识到……并不是幸福的惟一条件。

  10. Years of observing human behavior has enabled me to conclude that the major difference between…and…lies solely with…

  对人们行为的多年观察使我能够得出这样的结论:……和……的主要区别仅仅在于……

  11. There has been undesirable trend in recent years towards… A recent survey showed that…percent of respondents ranked…as their top priority, compared to…percent only a few years ago. Why do people fail to realize that…?

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注:一篇学生的习作,里面出现的问题,尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后,应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文:

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评:

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显,而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路:即,BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此,首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点(已交代)。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如, “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证,需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误,希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后,提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改:

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