雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 双边态度在雅思作文中的运用

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 双边态度在雅思作文中的运用，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

双边态度在雅思作文中的运用

学生在进入雅思的精品学习阶段的之后，开始大量地接触雅思作文真题并渐渐地了解到各种作文形式。此时，TASK2由于其规定字数较多以及对考生观点有较高的要求而成为雅思写作考试中的重头戏，因此学生会对其给予较多的关注。笔者身为培训教师，发现在教学过程中被问及最多的问题就是：对于辩论型作文，究竟是采取单边支持方式较好还是运用双边讨论观点更加合适？

要回答这一问题，首先应该从雅思主办者的地域思维特征谈起，英国人思考缜密，性格稳重，对待问题讲究客观公正，与美国人热情奔放，追求自我个性有着较大的差别。这些也同时体现在雅思考试的作文评分标准上，雅思相较于托福而言，更倾向于考察学生对于问题的全面把握与客观理解，因而从历年的雅思写作真题和其范文上分析，关于辩论型题目考官还是更青睐双边讨论型的写作方式，大多数高分作文都具备这一特点。

放下分析解决型文章不谈，辩论型文章的任务要求一般有以下几种：

1 To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

2 Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

3 To what extent do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? (措辞有时略有不同,但主要意思不变)

4 What is your opinion?

中国学生常常陷入对第一个指令的认识误区，错误以为只能从同意或不同意的单一角度去分析问题，一些培训机构有时也会在这些方面上误导学生。实际上，这个问题并不仅仅就是个单项选择，而是可以从正反两方面多角度去分析的，例如2008年3月13日的这道大作文考题：

People should look after their health as a duty to the society they live in rather than personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

对于该题，完全可从健康作为社会责任和个人利益时的优劣两个角度去讨论，兼顾两方面，从而可以达到写作分析阐述上的客观，避免有过于偏颇片面的看法。这在雅思作文考试中是应时刻注意的一点。

类似的思路还应用在第三个指令上，该要求的目的并非要求考生一定要得出一个“利大于弊”或“弊大于利”的狭隘观点，然后针对这一方面进行分析；而应在论述过程中，对有益和不利方面均要涉及，一同阐明，最终得出一个客观公正的结。在如2008年2月23日这道考题：

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy a wide variety of foods transported from all over the world. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

人们在本国就可以*到来自于世界各地的食品，该题目要求对这一现象进行利弊的比较和讨论，考生理应要对两方面都进行阐述，才符合题目的要求。

对以上两个指令的回应很好地表明了双边讨论文章正确的立意和思路----要么从某一个问题的正反角度去比较，或者在不同事物之间寻找参照进行评述，简而言之，要尽可能客观而全面地分析讨论而不是简单地妄下定论。

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