雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题(答案),希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
原文:
It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
修改:
It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。
雅思作文确定框架寻找分支观点练习20题
1. The unpaid community service should be a necessary part in high college programs (such as helping your neighbor or teaching the children sports or working for the charity).To what extent do you agree or disagree?
选A+1,A+2,A+4
评:A+3包括在A+4中,不及A+4全面。
A+5牵强,无偿社区服务可以让学生们的身体得到更多锻炼,所以应该进行无偿社区服务,这个因果关系不成立。干啥不锻炼身体啊?要是因为锻炼身体去做义工,还不如去操场跑一圈,怎么说也轮不到这个理由。
A+6 看电视上网什么的可以开阔知识面,没听过无偿社区服务可以让学生们开阔知识面的。
2. Nowadays, some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works by using computers. Do you agree or disagree?
选A-1,A-3,A-4
评:A-2:不能因为关掉博物馆或美术馆有几个人要失业就说还是需要将它们留下来,这是一个非常次要的原因。
A-5:跟论点不相关。
A-6:讲的是不去博物馆或美术馆在家里上网浏览文物资料、艺术品的好处,是主张博物馆或美术馆应该关掉的,这是在替敌人说话。
3. Some experts say that children’s studying English at primary school is better than their studying English at secondary school. Do you think its advantages outweigh its disadvantages?
A+:小学学习英语的利 选A+1,A+2,A+5
评:A+1 不要让孩子输在起跑线上是很多家长的呼声。鉴于英语在全球化时代的重要性,早学英语,就能使孩子在以后竞争中占据优势。
A+2 指出学英语的最佳年龄恰好落在小学阶段,是从获得最佳学习效果的角度来说理。
A+3 外语+专业+技能的复合型人才受欢迎,可以说明学外语的必要性,不能说明小学阶段学习外语的必要性;此外,小学阶段学了英语,就一定能成为英语+专业+技能的复合型人才吗?
A+4大家都应该学英语,小学生也不例外。这个推理的出发点大家都应该学英语本身就是错的,不是所有的人都应该去学英语,全民学英语已经被认为是一种浪费。此外,大家都应该学英语,小学生也不例外,那是不是婴儿也不能幸免了呢?
A+5指出小学阶段学习英语这种做法的可行性。
A+6: 将小学生学好英文跟出国联系起来,扯得太远。
B+:小学学习英语的弊 选:B+1、B+2、B+3
评:B+1 指出小学生在学习母语的同时学习英语会产生混淆。
B+2:指出不宜给小学生增加英语学习的沉重负担。
B+3:指出一些国家在小学开设英语课的条件尚不具备。
B+4:不要把什么事都往钱上扯。
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