雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失 详解雅思作文5分和6分的决定性差别

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失 详解雅思作文5分和6分的决定性差别，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

详解雅思作文5分和6分的决定性差别

1.字数不够，不给6分

　　Tip：多写50字
　　雅思考试采用人工阅卷，评卷老师不会一个一个字的去数；字数有没有到，完全是凭“目测”。
　　很多时候，由于书写、版式、空行大小等关系，
　　明明到了字数的作文，看起来却十分单薄，有字数不足的“嫌疑”。
　　为了谨慎起见，尽管要求是小作文150字，大作文250字
　　实际考试要分别写到200字+和300字+，才能保证看起来“够份量”。

　　2.不分段，不给6分

　　Tip：必须分段，千万不要整篇文章就“一坨”
　　小作文2-4段，大作文4-6段；
　　雅思写作毕竟是一种应试行为，多少带点“八股”。考生必须遵循标准化结构：
　　开头：1段，介绍话题背景，给出全文观点
　　中段：2-3个小段，每段有且只有一个分论点；每段开头要有“第一第二第三”“一方面另一方面”“首先/其次/再者”之类的标示词
　　结尾：1段，结论
　　写作文就是“带着枷锁跳舞”。大家不管用词用句多么鬼斧神工，不管材料和观点多么别开生面，千万不要在结构格式上心血来潮。标准化结构主要目的是方便考官阅卷，迅速查找段意。如果采用怪异/新颖的段落布局，会造成考官阅读不便，降低得分。

　　3.从句/复杂句没写对，不给6分

　　Tips：4分作文完全没有复杂句，5分作文有写复杂句，但没有写对；6分作文基本能写出无误的复杂句。
　　你一篇作文里面句式有几种；直接关系你的得分
　　定语从句，状语从句，宾语从句是必须出现的；主语从句、同位语从句、表语从句是加分的；
　　各种从句怎么写，我们课上说得最多的
　　不只一个同学问我：从句要掌握到什么程度？
　　很多人觉得，只要做语法选择题的时候，知道哪里选which哪里用that就算掌握从句了
　　但是雅思考试不吃这一套，它的主旨是“实用”。到底有没有掌握，就看你上了考场能不能使出来。
　　能够背出从句的构成公式，但是上场考试用不出来的学生不在少数。
　　60分钟，要写出500字的作文。没有时间让你一边回忆结构，一边来回颠倒、调整语序。
　　只有熟练到一定程度，才能在紧张的时候应用自如。
　　“如果有一件事你在紧张的时候做不好，或者做不了，说明你还做的不够”。
　　“知道怎么写”不够；雅思是要你“随时写得出”。
　　跟外国人真刀真枪的交流的时候，你能要别人给你一分钟时间，让你颠来倒去组织一句定语从句吗？

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