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雅思作文修改一例:现代技术对人的影响

更新:2023年04月11日 07:33 雅思无忧

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雅思作文修改一例:现代技术对人的影响

雅思作文修改一例:现代技术对人的影响

  Modern technology has had a great influence on people's entertainment choices, making them less creative. Co you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  Modern technology has had a great influence on people's entertainment choices, making them less creative. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  Bearing in mind the likely effects of the modern technology on entertainments on today's users are important, because it is an issue that is discussed daily nowadays by people in both the private and public sectors. However, does the modern technology benefits all aspects of human society? Some people may answer to the contrary. As far as I can see, current technology is undermining modern people's creative ability by providing individuals sorted ways of relaxation.

  The likely effects of modern technology on entertainment for people today are important, because it is an issue that is discussed daily in both the private and public sectors. However, does modern technology benefit all aspects of human society? Some people may answer in the negative. As far as I can see, modern technology undermines people's creative ability by providing individuals pre-digested forms of relaxation.

  To begin with , it has been known from the latest resources that modern people prefer to enjoy high-tech ways of recreation. More and more people from all works feel so pressuarable that they turn to modern technology which is supposed to be there providing convenient, time-saving and fresh entertainment while fewer and fewer individuals choose to play jigsaws or make some exquisite handicrafts which is the very things expand their imaginary world and make them more creative in their spare time.

  To begin with , it has been known from recent sources that modern people enjoy high-tech ways of recreation. More and more people from all walks of life feel so pressured that they turn to modern technology to provide convenient, time-saving and fresh entertainment; while fewer and fewer individuals choose to play jigsaws or make some exquisite handicrafts, the kinds of things that expand their imaginations and make them more creative in their spare time.

  Furthermore, modern people are more likely to count on current technology whether in physiological or psychological. What is meant by this is that plenty of people fully enjoy the entertaining products such as, TV, MP3 or internet games high-tech brings to them that they spend lots of time on them without doing anything else. Couch-potato syndrome is one such example. The more people rely on those modern entertaining items, the more possible that people form a negative habitual opinion that these high-tech can do everything for them, and the less likely people will be initiative and creative in their life.

  Furthermore, modern people are more likely to rely on modern technology whether for physiological or psychological reasons. What is meant by this is that many people fully enjoy the entertainment devices, such as TV, MP3 or internet games, that high technology brings to them, so that they spend lots of time on them to the detriment of everything else. The couch-potato syndrome is a result. The more that people rely on those modern entertainment devices, the more they form a negative habits, relying on all that these high-tech devices can do thing for them, and the less likely like they are to show initiative and be creative in their lives.

雅思作文写作技巧与注意事项(3)--大作文

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发贴:xlinyao

句子、词语。文章由句子组成,句子由词语组成。在着手写文章之前,应该提醒自己注意下面几点
1)句子与词语的正确用法。这是最基本的一点。这里包括单字的正确拼写、词语在特定句子中的正确应用、正确的句子模式。注意:千万不要在文章中出现中国式的英语。这就要求在构思的时候不要用中文进行思考,写的时候要仔细斟酌文章的语句。
2)句子的多样化。这点的实现必须在句子与词语的正确上来实现。句子的多样化是体现一个人英语语言水平的关键也是使文章获得高分的重点。如非谓语从句、定语从句、宾语从句等,以及简单句、复杂句的综合使用。
3)标点的正确使用

文章的整体风格与气氛。

作为考官或者是阅读你文章的人,在第一次接触到你文章时就可以感受到文章的特点与风格,或者活泼或者呆板,而依据模板写的文章很难做到活泼或者是吸引读者。

保持书写的工整性与字迹
 常见错误提醒
一. 不一致(disagreements)
所谓不一致不光指主谓不一致,它还包括了数的不一致 时态不一致及代词不一 致等.
例1. when one have money ,he can do what he want to .
(人一旦有了钱,他就能想干什么就干什么.)
剖析:one是单数第三人称,因而本句的have应改为has ;同理,want应改为wants.本句是典型的主谓不一致.
改为: once one has money ,he can do what he wants (to do)
二. 修饰语错位(misplaced modifiers)
英语与汉语不同,同一个修饰语置于句子不同的位置,句子的含义可能引起变化.对于这一点中国学生往往没有引起足够的重视,因而造成了不必要的误解.例1. i believe i can do it well and i will better know the world outside the campus.
剖析:better位置不当,应置于句末.
三. 句子不完整(sentence fragments)
在口语中,交际双方可借助手势语气上下文等,不完整的句子完全可以被理解.可是书面语就不同了,句子结构不完整会令意思表达不清,这种情况常常发生在主句写完以后,笔者又想加些补充说明时发生.
例1. there are many ways to know the society. for example by tv ,radio ,newspaper and so on .
剖析:本句后半部分"for example by tv ,radio ,newspaper and so on .”不是一个完整的句子,仅为一些不连贯的词语,不能独立成句.
改为:there are many ways to know society ,for example ,by tv ,radio ,and newspaper.
四. 悬垂修饰语(dangling modifiers)
所谓悬垂修饰语是指句首的短语与后面句子的逻辑关系混乱不清.例如:at the age of ten, my grandfather died. 这句中"at the age of ten"只点出十岁时,但没有说明” 谁”十岁时.按一般推理不可能是my grandfather, 如果我们把这个悬垂修饰语改明确一点,全句就不那么费解了.

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