雅思作文上不了6分，原来都是因为这个错误 雅思作文修改一例：现代技术对人的影响

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文上不了6分，原来都是因为这个错误 雅思作文修改一例：现代技术对人的影响，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文上不了6分，原来都是因为这个错误

在这几年的雅思教学经历中，经常会遇到这样一些学生，阅读听力可以达到七分，甚至八分这样的分数，但写作仅仅维持在5.5分，考过几次都没有任何长进。当然考官在评判写作分数时会通过内容、结构、词汇及语法这四个方面进行评分。但如果在写作过程中一味追求难词，长句，而基本语法问题错误百出，那这样的文章必然是与6+无缘了。更要说明的事，那些阅读听力拿了高分但写作中分数不高的学生，低分原因部分就是因为试图写长句，但在最基本的简单句都出现了错误。究竟如何才能写出6+的作文，来看看新东方在线致赢雅思于思靓老师的解析。

今天主要从语法中最为基本的主谓角度， 剖析下怎么先把基本的句子写对， 再去构建长句。请各位谨记，写作的首要原则是，先做到精准再做到精彩，如果简单句都错误百出，那再多的所谓“长句难句”也没有用。

相信很多考生都有同样的感受，花了几年甚至十几年的时间学习英语，其中语法这部分学明白的没有几个。不过当我问到学生，语法过多的细节概念我们先不追究，就说主谓关系这，能分清楚不？基本所有学生都会自信的说，主谓这个语法点，我还是没有问题的。但就是主谓这里，让很多学生都翻了船。

先来看下， 从我学生材料中挑选的这几个句子:

1.There are many people think that parents play an important role in children’s education.

2.In terms of the consumption of beef saw a dramatic increase.

3.If sufficient underground train systems are built.

仔细观察， 不知大家是否发现了这几个句子中的语法问题呢？ 我们首先要承认， 这三个句子用词都还不错， 但都在语法这出了问题。首先看句1， 如果大家对主谓要求有所了解的话， 就应该知道一个句子中只能包含一个谓语。 但这个句子出现了两个谓语are 及 think 。正确改法， 把think变为非谓语动词的形式， thinking。

句2， 句子中缺少主语， 很多人会把in terms of the consumption of chicken 当做主语， 但他实际只是状语， 正确改法， In terms of the consumption of chicken, it saw a dramatic rise. 加上it做句子的主语。

最后一个， 句3， 确实有主谓， 但句意不完整， 如果建立了充分的地铁系统， 之后会怎么样呢？ 缓解交通阻塞还是会消耗*大量资金？ 不仅从语义角度来讲， 这个句子是不完整的， 从语法角度来说也是有残缺的。 If 用来引导从句， 要附属于主句而存在， 那这里我们只见从句， 不见主句。 所以， 还是一个错误的句子。 正确改法, If sufficient underground train systems are built, then the traffic congestion will be eased.

在考官的五分评分标准中明确的指出， 五分的作文语法上会： may make frequent grammatical errors and punctuation may be faulty; errors can cause some difficulty for the reader. 言外之意， 造成读者理解困难的文章， 语法上只能达到5分。 那这里我们所说的句1出现的谓语问题，句2出现的主语问题以及句3的句义不完整， 就是会导致读者理解上出现困难的语法问题。如果评分标准中语法这项仅仅是5分的话， 全文的分数一般也就不过5.5了。

下一讲， 我们会就语法中最为核心也同样是很基本的主谓问题加以讲解， 希望同学们可以在后期写作过程中，避免这些致命的语法问题。

雅思作文修改一例：现代技术对人的影响

　　Modern technology has had a great influence on people's entertainment choices， making them less creative. Co you agree or disagree with this opinion?

　　Modern technology has had a great influence on people's entertainment choices， making them less creative. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

　　Bearing in mind the likely effects of the modern technology on entertainments on today's users are important， because it is an issue that is discussed daily nowadays by people in both the private and public sectors. However， does the modern technology benefits all aspects of human society? Some people may answer to the contrary. As far as I can see， current technology is undermining modern people's creative ability by providing individuals sorted ways of relaxation.

　　The likely effects of modern technology on entertainment for people today are important， because it is an issue that is discussed daily in both the private and public sectors. However， does modern technology benefit all aspects of human society? Some people may answer in the negative. As far as I can see， modern technology undermines people's creative ability by providing individuals pre-digested forms of relaxation.

　　To begin with ， it has been known from the latest resources that modern people prefer to enjoy high-tech ways of recreation. More and more people from all works feel so pressuarable that they turn to modern technology which is supposed to be there providing convenient， time-saving and fresh entertainment while fewer and fewer individuals choose to play jigsaws or make some exquisite handicrafts which is the very things expand their imaginary world and make them more creative in their spare time.

　　To begin with ， it has been known from recent sources that modern people enjoy high-tech ways of recreation. More and more people from all walks of life feel so pressured that they turn to modern technology to provide convenient， time-saving and fresh entertainment; while fewer and fewer individuals choose to play jigsaws or make some exquisite handicrafts， the kinds of things that expand their imaginations and make them more creative in their spare time.

　　Furthermore， modern people are more likely to count on current technology whether in physiological or psychological. What is meant by this is that plenty of people fully enjoy the entertaining products such as， TV， MP3 or internet games high-tech brings to them that they spend lots of time on them without doing anything else. Couch-potato syndrome is one such example. The more people rely on those modern entertaining items， the more possible that people form a negative habitual opinion that these high-tech can do everything for them， and the less likely people will be initiative and creative in their life.

　　Furthermore， modern people are more likely to rely on modern technology whether for physiological or psychological reasons. What is meant by this is that many people fully enjoy the entertainment devices， such as TV， MP3 or internet games， that high technology brings to them， so that they spend lots of time on them to the detriment of everything else. The couch-potato syndrome is a result. The more that people rely on those modern entertainment devices， the more they form a negative habits， relying on all that these high-tech devices can do thing for them， and the less likely like they are to show initiative and be creative in their lives.

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