Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1) 雅思作文如何得高分

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1) 雅思作文如何得高分，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

Ken老师点评:雅思作文学生习作(1)

题目：Some people believe the fittest and strongest individual and team achieve the great success in the sports. Others believe success depends on their mental attitudes. Discuss on both sides. What is your opinion?

Sports, no matter what their scales are, are the combination of intelligent and psychological factors and physical power of team members. To pursue success in sports, these factors are all indispensable and interactive.
(Comments: 1.(Don’t repeat your mistakes!))

Some people may argue that the only determinant for winning a sport is the physical strength of the team members. Namely, the stronger the individuals are, the higher possibilities the team will succeed in a competition event. We have to admit that the majority of sports require team members to have fit and powerful bodies. However, we should also notice that competition with other teams is not fighting with them. It is hard to image that a group of strongest apes win a game against a team of higher intelligent creatures.

( Comments: 2.(Pay close heed to the fact that you should use the noun form to function as the subject !) (Object clause is a good choice, and the non-predicate structure is also acceptable, yet never confuse them!))

Intelligent and psychological factors, therefore, play another part of important role in sports. Provided that a team is equipped with the strongest team members, it is still less likely for them to succeed in one game if its members are pessimistic and lack of strategies in competing with other teams. One famous case which can illustrate the importance of mental attitude and intelligent factors is that the Chinese football team’s successful entrance in the World Cup. The motto of that team’s coach is that attitude determinates everything. With the guidance of their coach, Chinese football players finally won the entrance competition with the support of positive attitude and appropriate strategies.

(Comments: 3. (Excellent! Very good application of exemplification!)

(The original slogan of the Chinese football team is “Attitude is everything!”) What you used here may seem a little Chinglish.)

Intelligent and mental power and the physical strength of team members are mutually influencing one another. The advantage of physical condition may probably add confidence to team members and inspire their best psychological state. On the other hand, the optimistic and positive attitudes are most likely to stimulate the best potential of individuals and bring them encouragement and ultimately lead to success. It can therefore be arguably concluded that mental attitude and physical condition are both significant in pursuing a team’s victory.

Very excellent as a whole!

Just keep up the good work and do the same in IELTS exam!

Pay close attention to details!

Grades: 7

雅思作文如何得高分

对中国考生来讲，应该切记：雅思作文是写作，不是搞中译英！

首先，Task 1（图表描述或流程图，又称小作文）评分标准为“TF”：Task Fulfillment（任务完成情况）占总分9分的40%，要求考生在20分钟内完成至少150个字的作文，在这基础上，考生还应当在规定的时间和字数内，向读者（即考官）清晰地阐述何事，何人，何时，何地，图表的总体趋势（是升？降？持平？还是波动以及幅度等相关信息）要以数据的形式逐步加以展开，不能带有个人的主观观点，布局清晰，思路清晰，详略搭配清晰，结论清晰，这是TF的基本条件。

其次，CC：Coherence & Cohesion（即逻辑连贯性）占35%，所谓逻辑连贯性，就是要求考生对所观察到信息用一定的数据加以拓展。例如：当考生写到无锡2005年的公交线路比十年前多了。那么，这个“多”字从哪来？考生应迅速把充分把论据或例子补上，可以这么写“2005年无锡的公交线路是105条，而10年前仅有20条，为10年前的5倍多”，这是令人信服的，反之就是捕风捉影。

再次，VSS：Vocabulary & Sentence Structure（即：用词和句子结构）约占卷面的20%，这对一个英文基础功扎实的考生来讲并不难，可难的是如何精确地选词、用词。应尽量避免使用已用过的词，例如：The chart shows…（该图描述了…），如在下段再出现则应该变换一下主语和谓语，以显得鲜活，如：The table also illustrates…（该图描述了…）意思未变，只是在遣词上稍稍花了点功夫，这就是一篇6分以上小作文。

就Task 2（即：议论文，又称大作文）而言，CQ:Communication Quality（交谈、质量）约占30%。主要是检验考生能否把所想表达的通过英语交流，考官能否看懂？而此篇的重头戏是在AIE上面。Arguments, idaas & Evidences（即：论点、思路、论据，也就是我们常讲的逻辑思维是否合理）。它在卷面9分中占了40%的比例。可见条理清晰与否、论点论据配套与否就显得尤为重要。与Task 1一样的是，第三个评分仍是VSS（即：用词和句子结构），约占20%左右。

只要考生们认真审题，精心布局，条理清晰，篇末点题就一定能拿下7分作文。

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