雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 雅思作文考前复习要点说明,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
原文:
It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
修改:
It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。
要有针对性地对雅思写作进行考前复习和应试策略进行调整,雅思作文考前复习要就需要注意雅思作文考前复习要点,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。 雅思作文考前复习要点一:涵盖题目所有要求 拿官方网站最新公布的留学类第一篇作文样题为例,两个图表分别显示的是1985年到1995年日本国民海外游的数量变化以及其中去澳大利亚旅游的人数的变化。在写这篇文章时,考生应首先将十年来日本国民海外游的数量变化趋势以及去澳大利亚的人数变化趋势概括出来,然后进行细化,看其趋势的变化有没有起伏、如何表现等,再对两组数据进行比较,最后进行总结,这样才能充分涵盖题目的要求。如果只是简单的罗列堆砌,不做任何的分析、概括和比较,扣分就难以避免了。 因此,考生在复习备考阶段不要盲目地练写文章,要多训练提高信息归类和概括能力。 雅思作文考前复习要点二:结构清楚合理 结构清楚,从文章整体来说是讲一篇文章起码要有开头、中间和结尾,每个中间段要有一句主题句总领整段,下面依次展开,最后有一句话收尾。结构合理则是指文章的论证结构合理,特别是高分作文,立场要非常清晰。 最新公布的留学类第二篇作文的题目是有关于对儿童*的不同看法。在写这篇文章时,考生首先就要鲜明地提出自己是否支持儿童做*,之后在过渡段里提及与自己意见不同的论点,说明理由是什么,其后放主要的笔墨论证自己的观点,可以结合亲身经历或了解到的实例来证明观点的正确性,最后进行总结陈述,进一步确认对于儿童应不应该做*的观点和意见。 在备考雅思时,考生要注意文章结构的建立,力求做到结构清楚、论证比例合理。 雅思作文考前复习要点三:词汇运用丰富、灵活 新评分标准最大的改变是把老评分标准的第三方面“词汇和语法”分解成词汇和语法两个细则。这样一来,词汇和语法、任务完成或任务反应、连贯与衔接在评分时的权重是一样的。所以,要获得雅思作文高分,同时也要在词汇上狠下功夫才行。 在词汇的准备方面,要注意宽度和难度两方面的训练。词汇的宽度是指在一篇要求字数的文章内,能用不同的语言表达同一个内容,避免重复,如用 grow、goup、increase、rise、raise、boost等不同词汇表达“上升”这个意思。词汇的难度,是指在文章中是选用比较幼稚的词汇,还是有一定文体标准、适合于学术场景表达的词汇。大多数中国考生都会普遍使用at the same time来表示“与此同时”,但是在正式文体里,表达此意的词应为mean while或in the meantime。 |
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