雅思作文修改一例：现代技术对人的影响 雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

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雅思作文修改一例：现代技术对人的影响

　　Modern technology has had a great influence on people's entertainment choices， making them less creative. Co you agree or disagree with this opinion?

　　Modern technology has had a great influence on people's entertainment choices， making them less creative. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

　　Bearing in mind the likely effects of the modern technology on entertainments on today's users are important， because it is an issue that is discussed daily nowadays by people in both the private and public sectors. However， does the modern technology benefits all aspects of human society? Some people may answer to the contrary. As far as I can see， current technology is undermining modern people's creative ability by providing individuals sorted ways of relaxation.

　　The likely effects of modern technology on entertainment for people today are important， because it is an issue that is discussed daily in both the private and public sectors. However， does modern technology benefit all aspects of human society? Some people may answer in the negative. As far as I can see， modern technology undermines people's creative ability by providing individuals pre-digested forms of relaxation.

　　To begin with ， it has been known from the latest resources that modern people prefer to enjoy high-tech ways of recreation. More and more people from all works feel so pressuarable that they turn to modern technology which is supposed to be there providing convenient， time-saving and fresh entertainment while fewer and fewer individuals choose to play jigsaws or make some exquisite handicrafts which is the very things expand their imaginary world and make them more creative in their spare time.

　　To begin with ， it has been known from recent sources that modern people enjoy high-tech ways of recreation. More and more people from all walks of life feel so pressured that they turn to modern technology to provide convenient， time-saving and fresh entertainment; while fewer and fewer individuals choose to play jigsaws or make some exquisite handicrafts， the kinds of things that expand their imaginations and make them more creative in their spare time.

　　Furthermore， modern people are more likely to count on current technology whether in physiological or psychological. What is meant by this is that plenty of people fully enjoy the entertaining products such as， TV， MP3 or internet games high-tech brings to them that they spend lots of time on them without doing anything else. Couch-potato syndrome is one such example. The more people rely on those modern entertaining items， the more possible that people form a negative habitual opinion that these high-tech can do everything for them， and the less likely people will be initiative and creative in their life.

　　Furthermore， modern people are more likely to rely on modern technology whether for physiological or psychological reasons. What is meant by this is that many people fully enjoy the entertainment devices， such as TV， MP3 or internet games， that high technology brings to them， so that they spend lots of time on them to the detriment of everything else. The couch-potato syndrome is a result. The more that people rely on those modern entertainment devices， the more they form a negative habits， relying on all that these high-tech devices can do thing for them， and the less likely like they are to show initiative and be creative in their lives.

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

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