雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文八分经典范文：环境、资源与交通问题

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 雅思作文八分经典范文：环境、资源与交通问题，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

雅思作文八分经典范文：环境、资源与交通问题

The unlimited use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people to use cars?

轿车数量的快速增长带来很多相关问题，值得我们高度重视。

The fast increase in the number of cars have brought along many related problems which are well worth our greatest attention.

首先，城市交通每况愈下。这里我想拿自己的亲身经历作为例证。五年前，我从家里开车到办公室花30分钟。一年后，我路上要花40分钟。两年后，为了准时到达工作岗位，我至少要提前1个小时从家里出发。之后，从去年开始，花1.5小时到达成为家常便饭。交通就像毛毛虫一样在蠕动！

First of all, urban traffic is getting from bad to worse. I’d like to cite my own experience as an example. Five years ago, it took me about 30 minutes to drive from home to office. One year later, I needed to spend about 40 minutes on the way. Then two years later, I had to start out from home at least 1 hour earlier in order to get to my office on good time for work. And then, since last year, it has just been too normal for me to spend about one and half hours to make it. The traffic just moves like a worm!

第二点，随着轿车数量无休止的增长，城市中的空气质量正日趋恶化。我们过去还能看到蔚蓝的天空，呼吸到新鲜的空气，但现在这成了一种奢望。汽车废气已经严重污染了空气，人们的身体受到了严重威胁。似乎已经很明确：我们人类已经犯了一个致命的错误，唯一能够弥补的便是极大地减少轿车的数量。

Second, with the ever growing number of cars, air quality in urban areas is deteriorating with each passing day. We used to see clear blue sky and breathe fresh air, but now this would be a real luxury. Car exhaust has seriously polluted the air and people’s health is greatly endangered. It seems certain that we human beings have already made a fatal mistake that could only be remedied by bringing down the number of cars hugely.

是啊，我们不能否认，轿车给我们带来了速度、舒适和机动性。然而，这一切都已经成为过去。我们从轿车上所蒙受的灾难要远远大于我们所获得的益处。由于我们每一秒钟都要呼吸被污染了的空气和由于我们在汽车上必须要花费的时间日益拉长这双重原因，我们的身体状况正越来越糟。

Sure, we can not deny the fact that cars have brought us speed, comfort and greater mobility. However, these have already been history. We are suffering much more from cars than benefiting from them. Our health conditions are going down rapidly both due to the polluted air that we have to breathe every second and our lack of exercise as a result of the ever increasing amount of time we have to spend behind the wheel!

我们该怎么办呢？从前面的论证中，我相信我们已经找到了解决方案：鼓励人们少开车！我很清楚科学技术也在快速发展，将来也许会有更好的解决办法出现，但是，在这一切成为现实之前，让我们先通过这种被动的方式来自救吧！

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