雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装 雅思作文Task1写作常识

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装 雅思作文Task1写作常识，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注：一篇学生的习作，里面出现的问题，尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后，应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文：

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评：

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显，而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路：即，BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此，首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点（已交代）。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如， “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证，需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误，希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后，提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改：

雅思作文Task1写作常识

一、图形种类及概述法：
泛指一份数据图表：a data graph/chart/diagram/illustration/table
饼图：pie chart
直方图或柱形图：bar chart / histogram
趋势曲线图：line chart / curve diagram
表格图：table
流程图或过程图：flow chart / sequence diagram
程序图：processing/procedures diagram

以下是一些较常用的描述用法
The table/chart diagram/graph shows (that)
According to the table/chart diagram/graph
As (is) shown in the table/chart diagram/graph
As can be seen from the table/chart/diagram/graph/figures,
figures/statistics shows (that)...
It can be seen from the figures/statistics
We can see from the figures/statistics
It is clear from the figures/statistics
It is apparent from the figures/statistics
table/chart/diagram/graph figures (that) ...
table/chart/diagram/graph shows/describes/illustrates how
......

阅卷考官经常是不会看那些图表的，因此文章必须逻辑清晰，如果描述得能令人在脑海里勾画出那个data chart，这篇task1无疑会达到8分的水平。开篇的第一句话可以是一句高度概括性的introduction（当然开门见山直接描述也是一种写法）；这样做不仅使文章更趋于完美，而且可以达到凑字数的目的（但不要照抄题目，除非时间相当紧迫）。接下来另起一段开始进行描述（根据实际情况1-2段），这当中经常要连续使用非限定性定于从句，从而使得描述过程流畅、清晰。最后也可再另起一段进行简短的综述（并非必须）。上述的任何一个步骤都要遵循依据现有data进行客观描述的原则，任何推测性或议论性的内容写得再多、再精彩不仅不会加分，而且还会成为扣分的因素。

二、data的具体表达法

data在某一个时间段固定不变：fixed in time
在一系列的时间段中转变：changes over time
持续变化的data在不同情况下:
增加：increase / raise / rise / go up ...
减少：decrease / grow down / drop / fall ...
波动：fluctuate / rebound / undulate / wave ...
稳定：remain stable / stabilize / level off ...

最常用的两种表达法：
动词 + 副词形式（Verb+Adverb form）
形容词 + 名词形式（Adjective+Noun form）
　　
1. Verb+Adverb form
The number of XXX
+increase/jump/rise/decrease/drop/fall/fluctuate...
+insignificantly/significantly/slightly/suddenly/rapidly/dramatically/sharply/steeply/steadily/gradually/slowly...
+from (第一时间) to (第二时间) / between (第一时间) and (第二时间)

2. Adjective+Noun form
There was a (very) sudden/rapid/dramatic/significant/sharp/steep/steady/gradual/slow/slight
+increase/jump/rise/decrease/drop/fall/fluctuation （注意：上述很多词不可用于修饰fluctuation）
+in the number of XXX from (第一时间) to (第二时间) / between (第一时间) and (第二时间)

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