雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 手把手教你将雅思作文简单句变复杂句

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点 手把手教你将雅思作文简单句变复杂句，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文点评：老龄化快速增长的优缺点

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(这里习惯用复数), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

点评：开头稍微写的有点长，不过内容写的还不错。属于通过分析两种不同观点，最后阐述自己观点的写法。(此种写法在雅思大作文的第一段比较常见)

美中不足的是倒数第二句的错误比较明显!while是个连词，应该连接句子与句子，所以这里前面不应该是句号。后面agree是不及物动词，不能直接加宾语。

Firstly, elder people(一会儿elderly people,一会儿又elder people，这不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面应该用逗号，然后这里小写) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面应该用句号，然后这里大写)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(应该第三人称单数)to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句号，这里大写) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物动词) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(应该是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物动词，而且主要用人作宾语) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有个逗号)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段综合点评：此篇是典型的5段式作文的写作，正文段构思出三个分论点来证明自己的观点，的确在构思上花了不少心思。但是，这里我想提的是，还是两方面都分析一下会比较好一点。特别这篇文章是问优点多还是缺点多，那么最好是缺点讲一个，然后优点再讲两个。外国人喜欢这样的辩证分析。

其次，总的来说，作者的语言还是挺流畅的。但是似乎标点有问题，该用句号的时候用逗号，改用逗号的时候用句号，这个也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.应该说there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文总评：

尽管总的来说语言水平还是很不错的，内容也写得很充实，但缺点是语言方面还是不够细腻。此文7分。

手把手教你将雅思作文简单句变复杂句

雅思高分作文，一般都会有一个明显的特征：文中含有个别精彩的复杂句。那么复杂句该怎么写呢？小编这就为大家解答。

在教学过程中，强调让学生多写单句，单句写好了，复杂句也会写。这个做法可能和大部分的老师是相反的。但这个教学方法基于一个简单的道理：雅思考官不好蒙骗。你一个复杂句如果写的不对，考官马上可以看出来，分数马上就会降低。因此，踏实写好简单句，分数更加容易提高。

只有当你熟悉单句后，才可以将句子连接起来。

方法1：如果两个简单句没有因果关系，基本上是两个独立的事情，往往可以简单地用and相连。

举例：Children are not sensitive to prices and parents prefer to satisfy their needs。

方法2：如果两个简单句有一定的因果关系，往往可以用状语从句相连。

一般来说，if 和when引导条件状语从句(也有一定因果关系，只是不那么强)

举例：If advertising campaigns directed at children are regulated, children will not pester their parents to buy many goods for them。

Since, as, because, so等引导原因或者结果状语从句，表示比较强的因果关系

举例：some children like fast food since they are overwhelmed by fast food advertisements every day。

方法3：如果状语从句怕重复，可以用and(或者；)+连接词的方式

有很多连接词because of this, as a result of this, consequently, as a consequence 等，都是表示因果关系。

举例：some children are addicted to violent video games, and because of this, they can show aggression and bully their peers at school。

方法4：如果第一个单句的最后一个单词和第二个单句的第一个单词重复，可以用定语从句连接。

　举例：Children are increasingly temperamental due to their addiction to violent electronic games. These games are normally promoted by advertising firms。

可以改成：Children are increasingly temperamental due to their addiction to violent electronic games, which are normally promoted by advertising firms。

方法5：如果第二个单句是第一个单句的结果，有可能使用非限制性定语从句

举例：Advertisements have given a lot of information about products. This enables parents to make well-informed buying decisions。

可以改成：Advertisements have given a lot of information about products, which can help parents to make well-informed buying decisions。

简而言之，不要嫌弃简单句，简单句写熟了，复杂句很容易写。

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