雅思作文培训价目表最新 哪位高人帮忙修改下雅思作文..先谢了..最好能给个分...

楼主，在这里好心的提醒一下，现在真正评雅思作文卷比较好的方法只有找那些非常有经验的培训老师，他们会知道评卷标准之类。网上这样评的话容易给你误差的分数，以致影响你的以后的复习计划，所以最好不要在网上评呀- -
恩，说说我自己的感受，觉得整个挺流畅的，应该是套用了模板了吧，呵呵~我不敢给分数，但是感觉还不错，分数应该还行。
怎么说呢，虽然套用了模板，但是总体文章还算流畅，考官在阅卷的时候虽然对模板的文章不太赞同，但是如果写的还行，会有6.5，不过一般不会突破7分，建议楼主即使做模板不要用网上的那些，推荐你一本书《10天突破雅思写作》上面有教你做自己的模板的方法，很好用~

环球教育老师为“烤鸭”们总结雅思写作备考技巧如下：

为啥雅思写作拿高分的都是别人，自己却成为不了别人，雅思写作扣分点这些低级错误别犯：

格式互用

雅思考试官方认同两种写作格式分别是：顶格空行，首行缩进，这两种格式千万别互用了！建议大家用顶格空行的格式。首行缩进的格式给人的直观感受不是那么清晰，还要保持每一段缩进的位置一样，有点费时费力。

篇幅不足

在雅思写作中字数必须要合格，众所周知字数少了是会被罚分的，当你的字数过少，考官就得亲身一个个的去数，这一全过程很乏味，影响考官阅卷的心情，所以一定要超过字数要求的最低标准。适当超过就好，小作文170-180，大作文270-280就可以了，字数写太多了会占用最后检查时间，还会提升差错率。

笔迹草率

请维持卷面干净整洁及其笔迹清楚，千万别笔迹草率，难以辨认。我觉得字丑考官还是能接纳的，可是假如笔迹像草书，模模糊糊，你就情况严重了，，因此考鸭们必须要铭记：字丑没事儿，可是决不能草率到让考官没法分辨！

生搬硬套原题

无论是task1 还是task2，在introduction段落总是要描述题目作为文章的打头段。要留意的是，并不是copy题目而是paraphrase题目。关键词还要学好替换，由于关键词假如出现了3次左右，那么这一关键词的记数都是要从稿子字数统计中抛去的。

乱加题目

雅思写作是不用加题目的，立即写文章正文就行。题目加的不太好，反倒会误导考官，因题目失分你就因小失大了。

不知道以上内容能否对您的雅思备考有些许帮助，如有雅思备考相关问题可以随时在线咨询我们的环球教育老师~~第一时间为您制定计划解答疑问，希望同学们都可以取得理想的雅思分数~

环球教育秉持教育成就未来的理念，专注于为中国学子提供优质的出国语言培训及配套服务。环球教育在教学中采用“九步闭环法”，帮助学生快速提升学习效能，同时提供优质的课后服务，跟进学生学习进程，为优质教学提供坚强的保障。目前，环球教育北京学校已构建了包含语言培训、出国咨询、国际课程、游学考察、在线课程等在内的一站式服务教育生态圈。相关问题可在线免费咨询，或拨打免费热线400-616-8800~~

论据分析雅思写作真题
阅读真题和雅思写作不得不说的关系：论据篇。
Topic：TV
is an essential part of leisure activities in most families. However,
some parents decide not to have a TV set in their homes, in order that
their children will devote enough time to invention and creation. Do you
agree or disagree with this attitude?
开头段：介绍文章背景，随着科学技术的发展，电视对人们的影响越来越大。
As
science and technology accelerates, television, as a powerful
invention, is becoming incredibly popular in people's daily life. People
can be informed of the current affairs and appreciate the affluent
programs at home. It seems to me that television will not whittle
children's creativity as has been exaggerated.
主体段第一段：开始论述电视对小孩创造力的好处1，电视让小孩子们在家就能了解到世界上发生的事情，新的科技发展，这些都会激发孩子的创造力，给他们带来灵感。
To
begin with, television is an effective means to make children
acquainted with the latest news and enlightens them on the latest
scientific advancement. Television reveals the recent development of
some researches, such as the new computing technology, clone technology
and genetic breakthroughs, which can inspire the imagination of children
and motivate them to conduct relevant experiments, making new findings
and breakthroughs in their familiar fields.

主体段第二段：论述电视对小孩创造力的好处2，一些冒险片可以培养小孩子的创造力，地理历史片通常是很有启发性的，可以扩大小孩子的知识面，丰富人生的经历。

Moreover,
along with the emergence of information technology, the knowledge
presented in textbooks cannot cater for children's curiosity any longer.
Programs like adventures can cultivate children's creativity and the
ability to tackle difficulty. Some scientific, detective and documental
programs, like Discovery and National Geographic, are so enlightening
and fascinating that even little children can be absorbed in. Other
well-chosen programs can initiate teenagers' aspiration to know about
the nature and stimulate their interests in science and technology.
主体段第三段：论述看电视对孩子创造力带来的坏处，可能会让孩子习惯被动接受信息，而不是自己学会发现。而且有的电视节目要不然就是理解起来太复杂，要不然就是不够有趣，因此看电视并不是一个好的开发创造力的方法。
There
is suspicion in some parents' minds that TV might retard their
children's creative ability or restrain kids' imagination because TV
viewers tend to receive information in a passive way instead of
discovering things with their own hands. Although people in the TV
industry have made great efforts to develop various programs, the
outcome is not satisfactory: either the program is too profound to be
understood or the topic is not interesting to attract TV audiences.
Thus, watching TV is hardly a good way to inspire children's creativity.
In many cases, it can draw attention away from their studies and spoil
their school education.
主体段第四段：还有一些别的方法也可以用来*创造力，比如写作，想象和原型描述也可以激发新的想法。
There
are some other ways to stimulate children's creativity, such as
writing, visualizing and prototyping, which can boost the flow of new
ideas. Something as simple as writing deepens every individual's
engagement. This is why all those competitions on breakfast cereal
packets encourage us to write in saying good comments. The very act of
writing makes us more likely to believe it.（稍作修改，用在这里做论据）
主体段第五段：权威并不是抑制创新，但实际上却经常如此。错误的领导方式会导致团队成员倾向于选择不承担本应属于他们的责任。
Authority
does not have to inhibit innovation but it often does. The wrong kind
of parenting will lead to the regrettable tendency of children to opt
out of team responsibilities that are properly theirs.（稍作修改，用在这里做论据）
结尾段：总结上文，表达自己的观点，电视并不会对小孩的创造力有不利的影响。
In
a word, it is my strong belief that television will not impair
children's creativity as is asserted. Nevertheless, the government and
the whole society should exert to eliminate the unhealthy contents on TV
and ensure the children with a favorable growing environment.