如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(下) 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(下) 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

如何使你的雅思作文句型富有变化(下)

三、长短句交插 　　长句和短句是就句子的字数多少、形体长短而言的。长句和短句各有其优点和缺点。长句，因为使用的定语、状语较多，限制了概念的外延，增大了概念的内涵，所以比较精确、严密，但使用起来不够活泼简便。短句，由于字数少，直截了当，一般比较简洁、明快、有力，但不利于表达复杂的语义内容。在具体语言活动中，最好长短句交替使用。这既体现了节奏上的要求，也是意义上的需要。例如： 　　(1)We can imagine the beautiful surroundings.(2)There are many trees along the streets.(3)There is a clean river in the city.(4) There are many fishes in the river.(5)There are willow trees on the one side.(6)There are some pieces of grassland on the other side.(7)There are many flowers on them. 　　文中七个句子都是简单句，句型结构单一，而且句子长短同一，都在七、八词左右，十分单调。下面是修改后的段落： 　　(1)Just imagine the beautiful surroundings if we make our cities greener.(2)Green trees line the streets.(3)A clean river winds through the city，in which a lot of fishes abound.(4)On the one side stand rows of willow trees.(5)On the other side lies a stretch of grassland sprinkled with many yellow and red flowers. 　　改写后的这段文字，有长句(1)、(3)、(5)，也有短句(2)和(4)，一长一短，抑扬顿挫的节奏感就出来了。不仅句子长短交插，而且句型结构变化也很大，使文章流畅自然，生动活泼。 　　四、利用倒装结构 　　英语的基本句型是S+V+O，如果偶尔打破常规，改变某一成分的位置，不仅可以丰富句型，而且能强调、突出被倒装的部分，收到意想不到的表达效果。例如： 　　1)In no other place in the world can one find such enthusia* for applying for hosting the 2008 Olympic Games. 　　2)Faith in the Chinese economic reforms the majority of people will never lose. 　　总之，英语的句式是多种多样的，只要从要表达的内容出发合理选用，文章的句式就会富于变化。同时，在学习写作的过程中，学生应不断练习构造各种各样句式，以提高语言表达能力。

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注：一篇学生的习作，里面出现的问题，尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后，应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文：

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评：

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显，而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路：即，BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此，首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点（已交代）。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如， “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证，需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误，希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后，提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改：

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