雅思作文高端写法：你能猜到这结尾吗 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文高端写法：你能猜到这结尾吗 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

雅思作文高端写法：你能猜到这结尾吗？

一个漂亮而又简洁的结尾对于高分大作文来说无疑是必须的，尽管最终评分的主要依据并不是由结尾段决定的，但是结尾段的出色完成对于一篇成功的学术类大作文是不可或缺的。在本章节中，老师将带领大家领略结尾的不同高端写法。

　　一。回顾全文+观点+展望：

　　这种结尾方式比较适合于双边结构的作文，在这种写法中，我们要注意的是结尾段由三个要素组成，其中第2个要素是必须的 ，但是句子的数量可以是3句也可以是2句甚至1个句子。首先我们来看一个例子：

　　I agree that we need to make sure that animals that are used for testing new products have the minimum of suffering. However, I am convinced that animal testing is necessary, and that it will continue to benefit humans in new and wonderful ways。

　　上面这个例句中，作者将自己的观点隐藏在了一个宾语从句之后，起到了一个欲扬先抑的效果。但是这种效果必须搭配一个展望未来才能起到渲染的效果。我们来对比另外一个例子：

　　In conclusion, physical punishment can be a useful method of discipline. However, it should be the last choice for parents. If we want to build a world with less violence we must begin at home, and we must teach our children to be responsible。

　　大家不难发现，2个句子都使用了相似的衔接方式，即首句委婉地回顾全文，将观点的对立面用"让步"的方式表达出来，同时也是对于主体段观点的回顾。然后再是用转折阐述自己的看法和观点。最后再用一个对于未来的期望来支撑自己的观点。这种顺序安排的优点在于对于文章的主体有很好的总结，但同时观点又是非常鲜明有力的，加上对于未来的润色，使得表达更流畅。用同样的方法，我们再来看第三个例句：

　　To sum up, although there are undoubtedly some problems with increased levels of education, I feel strongly that the country can only progress if all its people are educated to the maximum of their ability。

　　和前2个结尾不同，第三个结尾尽管也是先回顾了全文，但是它将作者的观点和对未来的期望写在了一个条件状语从句里。如此就给出了我们在构造"展望未来"时的一个思路，即搭配条件状语从句或者介宾短语跟在观点句之后。此种结尾发展方式同样适用于分析解决型大作文的结尾段布局，比如：

　　All in all, although the problem of drugs may seem impossible to eliminate, there are concrete steps that can be taken to weaken the hold of drugs on society. The danger from drugs is too great to ignore。

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注：一篇学生的习作，里面出现的问题，尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后，应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文：

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评：

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显，而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路：即，BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此，首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点（已交代）。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如， “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证，需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误，希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后，提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改：

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