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雅思作文部分99%的学生都会犯的问题有哪些 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

更新:2023年04月23日 15:15 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文部分99%的学生都会犯的问题有哪些 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文部分99%的学生都会犯的问题有哪些 雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

雅思作文部分99%的学生都会犯的问题有哪些?

大部分同学小作文中会出现这样那样的问题,由于中国的传统教育中对于图表类描写的练习涉及少,同学们不能熟练掌握写作手法。常有同学面对小作文的图表无从下手。下面,雅思小编为大家列举在雅思小作文写作过程中,99%的学生都会犯的问题有哪些?

一般没有had a decrease/ increase的说法,一般是saw a decrease/increase

Increased, decreased, declined 这些上升和下降的词都没有被动语态

当the number, the amount, the figure, the proportion做句子的主语的时候,不能用account for

The proportion of 后面不能加句子,譬如说 the proportion of people worked in the healthcare sector是错的,要写成the proportion of people who worked in the healthcare sector

The amount不能替换the number

Ratio和rate一般不能替代proportion和percentage

Picture 不能替换graph 或者chart

不要用定语从句读数据,譬如说 the crime rate in the US was highest, which was 0.3%. 这里的which was 直接省略。

结尾段一般不写in conclusion

结尾段不能写数据

一般是compared with,而不是comparing with

Followed by后面要写名词,而且这个名词要和主句的主语性质差不多

Reach 读数据的时候不能加to或者at, 直接加数据就可以

说人年龄的时候应该是aged,譬如说people aged from 15 to 24

一般不会用过去进行时态,也就是was increasing/decreasing 是错的

While, whereas一定要连接两个独立的句子,不能够单独存在

副词slightly不能修饰名词,应该是slight increase, drop

小作文一般用不到minimum这个词,minimal的意思不是“最小的”,而是“基本上可以忽略不计的”

雅思作文修改:是否应鼓励更多人每天穿传统服装

注:一篇学生的习作,里面出现的问题,尤其是首段出现的问题很值得各位雅思学员注意。

希望大家看完原文的开头之后,应该思考我们课堂上所讲的文章开头的背景交代的改写方法。

Topic: In many countries people no longer wear their national costumes. They are forgetting their history and traditions, more people should be encouraged to wear their national costumes everyday. Do you agree or disagree.

原文:

In this day and age, as a pace of social development, a various kinds of clothes are winning tremendous popularity in some countries. But in the meantime, it has drawn a great deal of attention to the problem that whether more people should be encouraged to wear national clothes everyday. As far as I am concerned, people should not wear them per day.

In the first place, it is generally acknowledge that traditional clothes of some countries are unconvenient for national residents to work. It is a fact that some of their costumes, such as kimono of Japan,cheongsam of china and Korea-style cothes, they are too long and big to work. In particular policemen and doctors,these careers are hard to be done if they are wearing such clothes.

In the second place, not wearing national costumes doesnot mean their citizens forgetting their history and traditions. Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children. Take Japanese as an example, they always knee down when they are eating meals.

Finally, clothes should be kept abreast with step of social development. The style of clothes can mirror the custom in a period of time in a country. Dr. Wang who especialize in sociey asses*ent supported this view in a paper. And he said that people living in this fast-pace society should wear neat clothes which are conveninet when they are working.

To sum up, I completely disagree with wiew that people wear the national clothes everyday in the current society. In my opinion, with amount of colthes into our lives,our daily lives should be colorful and fashionable.

点评:

1. 原文开头模板痕迹比较明显,而且未能将背景信息交代清楚。应该按照课上所讲审题步骤理清文章的习作思路:即,BI(Background information)+WT(writing tasks)。因此,首段应该交代好背景信息和自己的观点(已交代)。

2. 原文中部分句子之间的Cohesion出现问题。如, “Some countries’ history and traditions are still studied by young children.” 是对上句的佐证,需加入对比联系词in fact/ on the contrary

3. 文章多次出现单词拼写错误,希望引起足够重视。

4. 文章最后可以在分析不必要性之后,提出消除人们担心的办法。

修改:

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