何为高分雅思作文 雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了何为高分雅思作文 雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。

何为高分雅思作文 看考官批作文

　　请看下面这个小作文的开头段，看似行文流水，实则欲哭无泪。

　　As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句，小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句，而孰不知此句虽好，但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。若论行文习惯，实在勉强。再者，“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑。但是烤鸭们，不知啊，你让他笑，他却让你人比黄花瘦，尽管他是那样的爱你。此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”，考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉。但考官会认为是“这table就是表格，也就是图的一种，还后面要是再加一chart，再来一图。实为black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词，感觉倒是亲民派系， 考官考生一家人啊。但是，雅思写作，半学术文体，这词总有点较为随意。所以，宁为被动，隐去施动者，换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句，或许会更好点。考生最无辜的地方就是下面的这个percentage。我们都知道，衣服表格不可能只有全图一个数据，又怎会遗忘名词单复数的问题呢?最后那个“in 2002 in five different countries”，感觉起来好似是信息满满，不知道是否也是信心满满?语法老师告诉我们：当句子中同时有地点状语和时间状语时,一般要把地点状语放在时间状语之前 。要知道，不走寻常路，那是考官的作风。考生要是也这样做，哭泣大于微笑。 　　雅思作文这样批，你懂的……---系列二 　　People have, in rercent years, shown concern on the dire consequences of global warming and air pollution. Some people suggest that we should limit are travel(travelling) instead of car use. It seems to me that the objection against air travel is based on incorrect facts and stereotypes.(The)Vehicle is an integral segment of urban industrial civilization, mirroring contemporary life, in its best and unrest aspects. 　　Just as machinery is integral to industrialization, air is central to world economy.(有逻辑关系吗?)Air travels make it possible for people to move around the world freely and quickly. Today, the tips can be completed in a matter of hours. One can attend a meeting in Pairs and dinner in New York the same day. There is a growing recognition that air travels have several advantages, while(连接词使用有误，改成meanwhile)it can(补上主语) ensures(删掉s) the growth of modern business such as international touri*, transportation and express delivery ,etc. Therefore, limiting air travel itself is a grave mistake ,that (非限定从句引导词改成which)would be a severe blow to these industries and may even damage world economy. 　　It’s true that one long-distance flight consumes more fuel and causes even more pollution than a car journey. But air trips have more outweight than car journey in the long journey (什么意思?)and the numbers of passengers. However, cars also can release gases that pollution the air, and cause great damage human health. Giving up air travels for(应改成instead of) car journeys(什么意思?) hoping there will be less pollution is certainly a fruitless act. 　　According to the above *ysis, we can observe that limiting air travels cannot solve the environmental problems. We should aim at developing cleaner fuels an more efficient engines that will allow us to enjoy travelling without putting the environment in danger 　　终极点评：结构安排较好，5.5基本保证。但细节错误过多，尤其是衔接手段较为机械。

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。

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