雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文修改:传统文化在流失 雅思作文:task2写作步骤完全指导,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
对于雅思写作而言,写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程,为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改,分享给大家,希望对大家有所帮助,文中观点仅供参考。
题目:As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
原文:
It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
修改:
It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍,希望对大家有所帮助,最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。
| 雅思大作文写作步骤完全指导:雅思写作部分有2篇作文,要求考生在一小时内完成至少400字的写作任务。由于时间比较短,不少考生因未能合理安排时间,结果没有有效完成任务要求或是未能充分展现自己的英语写作水平。 写作部分两篇文章的字数要求是不一样的。大作文必须完成250字以上写作任务,而小作文150字以上。根据这一指令,从机械地写字速度来看,考生较为合理的时间分配为大作文40分钟,小作文20分钟。另外,大作文占写作总值的60%,小作文为40%,从这分值的权重来看,时间上2:1的分配也是相当合理的。 所以,要想成功完成大作文任务一定要把时间控制在40分钟左右,前后不超出5分钟。 那么如何充分利用这40分钟, 完成一篇基本令人满意的文章呢? ◆步骤一:审题(<3 分钟) 审题是有效完成任务的第一步,也是最关键的一步。从评分标准看,审题的正确与否与"Task Response"有着直接的联系。而在当前模板泛滥,文章千篇一律的大环境下,有效审题是突破六分的一条准绳。不少考生在审题时,要么蜻蜓点水、草草一读,要么只关注题目中词的同义转换。如此读题,都有可能对之后的文章撰写方向造成偏差。而有效的读题方法应为: →通读题目,了解大意。 →细读题目,分析句子间的逻辑关系。 →再读题目,辨别关键词,区分主题词和限定词,推测考官的出题意图。 由于大部分考生只作到了读题的第一步,所以出现离题或部分离题的可能性很大。现以2008年11月15日的考题为例: There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development (题目为考生回忆,与原题可能有少许出入) →通读题目,了解大意。 当前有越来越多的工人在家里工作,有越来越多的学生在家里学习。这是因为电脑技术越来越容易获得,也越来越便宜了。你认为这是个正面的还是负面的发展趋势? 备注:题中的accessible有不少考生不理解,对审题的准确性会造成一定影响。 →细读题目,分析句子间的逻辑关系。 要把握题目中的句子间逻辑关系,关键是能读懂代词"this"; "it"的具体指代。 "this"是指第一句话。 "it"可理解为前两句所呈现的这一现象。为了使文章写作方向更为明确,这里可把it 概括为:the wider usage of computer technology in working or studying from home →再读题目,辨别关键词,区分主题词和限定词,推测考官的出题意图。 主题词:Computer technology in working or studying from home 限定词:positive or negative 不容忽视的词:easily accessible and cheaper 题目信息解构: (topic) positive(benefits) Computer technology in working or studying from home (causes) Negative (drawbacks) Easily accessible and cheaper 对题目做出如上分析,确保撰写的文章能包含以上的信息,审题这关绝对能过。 以上用时不超过3分钟。 ◆步骤二:列大纲(<3分钟) 根据以上的题目解构信息,寻找关键词的下义词和衍生词,根据已有素材确定写作框架。 如: Computer technology:on-line, PC, laptop, broadband Working from home: Fashion designer; freelancer; translator; journalist; writer; music composer, artistsStudying from home: on-line course, the disable who are difficult to move; course in the foreign country Cheaper: on-line IELTS course --several hundred RMB Class IELTS course -- several thousand RMB Easily accessible : in city-- at least one PC every house Broadband: almost every house; school Net bar: almost every neighbourhood Outline: ☆Introduction: Computer technology in home-study and home- work (topic) Positive development (opinion) ☆Body: ★Benefits of studying from home: Cheaper--- IELTS course (on-line /class) Freer--- white collar for further education in free time ★Benefits of working from home: Artists(music composer/fashion designer)---- more productive Freelancer( translator/journalists)---- more working opportunity ★Drawbacks: Lack self-control /independence( line-addicts) ☆Conclusion: inevitable trend( with self-discipline) 备注:在实战考试中无需把大纲写得如此详细,但胸有成竹一定会使之后文章的写作如鱼得水。 ◆步骤三:文章撰写(30-35分钟) 一般文章为4-5段,平均每段用时5-10分钟 备注:大作文写作一定要写结论段,以体现文章的完整性。 ◆步骤四:检查(1-2分钟) 此时,不宜做大的修改,把笔误的部分改掉即可。 |
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