何为高分雅思作文让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议

更新：2023年04月29日 04:51 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了何为高分雅思作文让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
何为高分雅思作文让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议

何为高分雅思作文看考官批作文

　　请看下面这个小作文的开头段，看似行文流水，实则欲哭无泪。

　　As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.谈及套句，小作文中“As can be seen from…”曾被列为小作文必备佳句，而孰不知此句虽好，但native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。若论行文习惯，实在勉强。再者，“table chart”必会让考官在批卷的疲劳中会心一笑。但是烤鸭们，不知啊，你让他笑，他却让你人比黄花瘦，尽管他是那样的爱你。此短语翻译成中文叫“表格图”，考生自是觉得挺有中国风的感觉。但考官会认为是“这table就是表格，也就是图的一种，还后面要是再加一chart，再来一图。实为black sheep 一族”啊!南部陈更要翻译成“表格图图”?实在是具有喜感啊!再论“us”一词，感觉倒是亲民派系，考官考生一家人啊。但是，雅思写作，半学术文体，这词总有点较为随意。所以，宁为被动，隐去施动者，换成it can be seen ,或是it represents that 等句，或许会更好点。考生最无辜的地方就是下面的这个percentage。我们都知道，衣服表格不可能只有全图一个数据，又怎会遗忘名词单复数的问题呢?最后那个“in 2002 in five different countries”，感觉起来好似是信息满满，不知道是否也是信心满满?语法老师告诉我们：当句子中同时有地点状语和时间状语时,一般要把地点状语放在时间状语之前。要知道，不走寻常路，那是考官的作风。考生要是也这样做，哭泣大于微笑。　　雅思作文这样批，你懂的……---系列二　　People have, in rercent years, shown concern on the dire consequences of global warming and air pollution. Some people suggest that we should limit are travel(travelling) instead of car use. It seems to me that the objection against air travel is based on incorrect facts and stereotypes.(The)Vehicle is an integral segment of urban industrial civilization, mirroring contemporary life, in its best and unrest aspects. 　　Just as machinery is integral to industrialization, air is central to world economy.(有逻辑关系吗?)Air travels make it possible for people to move around the world freely and quickly. Today, the tips can be completed in a matter of hours. One can attend a meeting in Pairs and dinner in New York the same day. There is a growing recognition that air travels have several advantages, while(连接词使用有误，改成meanwhile)it can(补上主语) ensures(删掉s) the growth of modern business such as international touri*, transportation and express delivery ,etc. Therefore, limiting air travel itself is a grave mistake ,that (非限定从句引导词改成which)would be a severe blow to these industries and may even damage world economy. 　　It’s true that one long-distance flight consumes more fuel and causes even more pollution than a car journey. But air trips have more outweight than car journey in the long journey (什么意思?)and the numbers of passengers. However, cars also can release gases that pollution the air, and cause great damage human health. Giving up air travels for(应改成instead of) car journeys(什么意思?) hoping there will be less pollution is certainly a fruitless act. 　　According to the above *ysis, we can observe that limiting air travels cannot solve the environmental problems. We should aim at developing cleaner fuels an more efficient engines that will allow us to enjoy travelling without putting the environment in danger 　　终极点评：结构安排较好，5.5基本保证。但细节错误过多，尤其是衔接手段较为机械。

让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议

　　很多学生在练习英文作文时，认为长句、难句或复杂句能够提升文章的语言质量，展示自己“深厚”的语言功底，并因此获得更高的分数。他们在备考复习时也花了很多精力在长句的练习上，考试时也会尽量使用长句。这种想法确实有一定的道理，因为很多考试如新托福的写作科目评分标准中确实有从语法或用词的多样性等角度考察语言质量的评分项目，考生如果能够熟练地运用各种句式写出精彩的长句，确实能给文章增色不少。

　　然而，雅思中国网雅思专家认为：一味地追求句子的长度有时反而会牺牲句子的“可读性”，特别是对一些基础一般的学生来说，有时生硬地追求长句反而破坏了句子的句法准确性。下面我们就来看一些例子，体会一些写得并不成功的长句和怎样修改的建议：

　　建议一：避免空洞的单词和词组

　　1. 一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息，完全可以被删掉。比如下面的句子：

　　When all things are considered, young *s of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
　　这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为：
　　Young *s of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。

　　2. 有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换，例如：

　　Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。
　　“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子，可以替换，简化为下面的表达方式：
　　Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now。

　　建议二：避免重复

　　1. 尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复，但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。例如下面这个例子：:

　　The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
　　large 对一个farm来说就是size方面的large，所以in size可以去掉，改为：
　　The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。

　　更简洁的表达方式为：

　　My grandfather grew up on a large farm。

　　2. 有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换，例如：

　　My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents' farm。
　　这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly，显得更为简洁：
　　My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents' farm。

　　建议三：选择最恰当的语法结构

　　选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要，但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则：

　　1. 一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如：.

　　The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
　　从意思上来分析，上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able to study”，而在表达这个概念时，原句用的主语是situation，谓语动词是was，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，可以改为下面这句话：
　　My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。

　　2. 避免频繁使用“there be”结构，例如下面的句子：

　　There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。

　　可以改为：
　　My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。

　　更简洁的句式为：
　　My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。

　　3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如：

　　Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。

　　简介的表达方式为：
　　The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university。

　　4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：

　　In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。

　　本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather's family”，而使用了被动语态后，仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态，相对来说更简洁一些：

　　In the fall, my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。

　　5. 用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语，例如下面这句话：

　　My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。
　　Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达，即loiter：
　　My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。

　　6. 有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达，例如：

　　Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too *all to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。

　　两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子：

　　Profits from the farm were sometimes too *all to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree。

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