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雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 双边态度在雅思作文中的运用

更新:2023年04月30日 08:18 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核,综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力,实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说,也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 双边态度在雅思作文中的运用,希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题,敬请关注。
雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯 双边态度在雅思作文中的运用

雅思作文想拿高分,这四个错误一定不能犯


大家现在所看到的这篇小作文选自C6T2,同其他考官范文不同,这篇文章出自考生之手。具体这篇考生的作文得了几分咱们先*个关子,假如你是雅思考官,按照写作评分的四大项标准, 你会给他打几分呢?

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.

In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4, 806 people. There's a noticeable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Which probably made people to take the take the train more often. There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people. Where it was only 13 in 1985

Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.

我们先从客观地从考官的评分角度来评判下这篇文章。

首先从文章的内容上来看,考生确实从趋势角度描写了数据变化,但描写逻辑混乱。开端描述了car,local bus 及long distance bus。Car的数据自始至终都是最大的,先描写也毋庸置疑,但local bus 和long distance bus,变化数据设计不多,同时变化趋势也不相同,放在一起描述没有意义。其次,此文没有描述表格中的总量这一数据,这也是其失分的原因。

再来看下这篇文章数字后所带的单位,考生的作文中带的是people, 但仔细审题后我们会发现,这篇作文的真正单位实际是miles,通篇文章对单位的理解都是错误的。

接下来我们来看结构,通篇文章分成两段。考官习作中有分成三段、四段及五段的小作文的例子,但两段的绝对没有。同时,文章开篇直接就描述了最大数据, 缺少了开头段的引入,结尾段也并不是考官所期望看到的总结性信息。

不过从词汇角度来看, 文章代词及连词使用较好

a. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people asits figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. Its指代long distance bus ride

b. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. It指代the number of people who travelled by train.

c. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This 指代上一句话。

从语法角度来看, 文章细小问题较多。

a. 时态:数据变化时间为1985-2000,为一般过去,考生采用的为一般现在。

b. 主谓一致:However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. 主语复数,谓语动词单数,主谓不一致。

c. 名词单复数:There's a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. Number应为单数。

d. 被动语态:as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000. 这三个句子的动词应该全部改为主动语态。

这样的作文究竟可以得几分呢, 我们来看下考官评语,实际同我们刚刚分析时给出的关键点是一致的。

This is an answer written by a candidate who achieved a Band 6 score. Here is the examiner's comment:

This answer does not introduce the information in the table, nor does it report it accurately. The figures are misinterpreted as representing the number of people rather than the average number of miles travelled per person per year. Consequently the information about the increase in total travel is simply not mentioned, so not all key information is covered. There is an attempt to summarize trends in the figures, but the reader cannot get a clear overall picture of the information because of the fundamental confusion.

Nevertheless, the information is organized and the writing flows quite well because of good use of referencing and other connectors, but there are occasional errors in these and the links between ideas are slightly confusing at times.

The strong feature in this answer is the range of vocabulary which is used with some flexibility and good control. A good range of structures is also used, but there are still some fairly basic mistakes, such as in the choice of tense, subject/verb agreement and inappropriate use of the passive.

当然我们分析这篇考生习作的最终目的不是想告诉大家6分的作文错误百出,于思靓老师是希望同学们可以取长补短,像这篇作文考生所出现的基本问题,如时态、单位、语态等在你的作文中要避免出现,像考官特别看重的他的句子多样性的运用要多加学习。最后期待大家能拿到理想的分数。

双边态度在雅思作文中的运用

学生在进入雅思的精品学习阶段的之后,开始大量地接触雅思作文真题并渐渐地了解到各种作文形式。此时,TASK2由于其规定字数较多以及对考生观点有较高的要求而成为雅思写作考试中的重头戏,因此学生会对其给予较多的关注。笔者身为培训教师,发现在教学过程中被问及最多的问题就是:对于辩论型作文,究竟是采取单边支持方式较好还是运用双边讨论观点更加合适?

要回答这一问题,首先应该从雅思主办者的地域思维特征谈起,英国人思考缜密,性格稳重,对待问题讲究客观公正,与美国人热情奔放,追求自我个性有着较大的差别。这些也同时体现在雅思考试的作文评分标准上,雅思相较于托福而言,更倾向于考察学生对于问题的全面把握与客观理解,因而从历年的雅思写作真题和其范文上分析,关于辩论型题目考官还是更青睐双边讨论型的写作方式,大多数高分作文都具备这一特点。

放下分析解决型文章不谈,辩论型文章的任务要求一般有以下几种:

1 To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

2 Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

3 To what extent do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks? (措辞有时略有不同,但主要意思不变)

4 What is your opinion?

中国学生常常陷入对第一个指令的认识误区,错误以为只能从同意或不同意的单一角度去分析问题,一些培训机构有时也会在这些方面上误导学生。实际上,这个问题并不仅仅就是个单项选择,而是可以从正反两方面多角度去分析的,例如2008年3月13日的这道大作文考题:

People should look after their health as a duty to the society they live in rather than personal benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

对于该题,完全可从健康作为社会责任和个人利益时的优劣两个角度去讨论,兼顾两方面,从而可以达到写作分析阐述上的客观,避免有过于偏颇片面的看法。这在雅思作文考试中是应时刻注意的一点。

类似的思路还应用在第三个指令上,该要求的目的并非要求考生一定要得出一个“利大于弊”或“弊大于利”的狭隘观点,然后针对这一方面进行分析;而应在论述过程中,对有益和不利方面均要涉及,一同阐明,最终得出一个客观公正的结。在如2008年2月23日这道考题:

In some countries, it is now possible for people to buy a wide variety of foods transported from all over the world. To what extent do the benefits of this development outweigh the drawbacks?

人们在本国就可以*到来自于世界各地的食品,该题目要求对这一现象进行利弊的比较和讨论,考生理应要对两方面都进行阐述,才符合题目的要求。

对以上两个指令的回应很好地表明了双边讨论文章正确的立意和思路----要么从某一个问题的正反角度去比较,或者在不同事物之间寻找参照进行评述,简而言之,要尽可能客观而全面地分析讨论而不是简单地妄下定论。

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