让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议雅思作文修改一秒钟变高分

更新：2023年04月30日 14:03 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议雅思作文修改一秒钟变高分，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议雅思作文修改一秒钟变高分

让你的雅思作文简洁完美的三条建议

　　很多学生在练习英文作文时，认为长句、难句或复杂句能够提升文章的语言质量，展示自己“深厚”的语言功底，并因此获得更高的分数。他们在备考复习时也花了很多精力在长句的练习上，考试时也会尽量使用长句。这种想法确实有一定的道理，因为很多考试如新托福的写作科目评分标准中确实有从语法或用词的多样性等角度考察语言质量的评分项目，考生如果能够熟练地运用各种句式写出精彩的长句，确实能给文章增色不少。

　　然而，雅思中国网雅思专家认为：一味地追求句子的长度有时反而会牺牲句子的“可读性”，特别是对一些基础一般的学生来说，有时生硬地追求长句反而破坏了句子的句法准确性。下面我们就来看一些例子，体会一些写得并不成功的长句和怎样修改的建议：

　　建议一：避免空洞的单词和词组

　　1. 一些空洞的单词或词组根本不能为句子带来任何相关的或重要的信息，完全可以被删掉。比如下面的句子：

　　When all things are considered, young *s of today live more satisfying lives than those of their parents, in my opinion。
　　这句话当中的“when all things are considered”和“in my opinion“都显得多余。完全可以去掉。改为：
　　Young *s of today live more satisfying lives than their parents。

　　2. 有些空洞和繁琐的表达方式可以进行替换，例如：

　　Due to the fact that our grandparents were under an obligation to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have at this point in time。
　　“due to the fact that”就是一个很典型的繁琐的表达方式的例子，可以替换，简化为下面的表达方式：
　　Because our grandparents were obligated to help their parents, they did not have the options that young people have now。

　　建议二：避免重复

　　1. 尽量避免重复使用同样的词汇。或者有的时候虽然词汇没有重复，但意思却有重复。这时候可以做一些简化的工作。例如下面这个例子：:

　　The farm my grandfather grew up on was large in size。
　　large 对一个farm来说就是size方面的large，所以in size可以去掉，改为：
　　The farm my grandfather grew up on was large。

　　更简洁的表达方式为：

　　My grandfather grew up on a large farm。

　　2. 有时一个词组可以用一个更简单的单词来替换，例如：

　　My grandfather has said over and over again that he had to work on his parents' farm。
　　这里的over and over again就可以改为repeatedly，显得更为简洁：
　　My grandfather has said repeatedly that he had to work on his parents' farm。

　　建议三：选择最恰当的语法结构

　　选择合适的语法结构可以使句子意思的表达更为精确和简练。虽然语法的多样性也很重要，但选择最恰当的语法结构仍然是更为重要的考虑因素。以下原则是在考虑选择何种语法结构时可以参考的原则：

　　1. 一个句子的主语和谓语动词应该能够反映句子中的最重要的意思。例如：.

　　The situation that resulted in my grandfather's not being able to study engineering was that his father needed help on the farm。
　　从意思上来分析，上面这句话需要表达的重要的概念是“grandfather's not being able to study”，而在表达这个概念时，原句用的主语是situation，谓语动词是was，不能强调需要表达的重点概念，可以改为下面这句话：
　　My grandfather couldn't study engineering because his father needed help on the farm。

　　2. 避免频繁使用“there be”结构，例如下面的句子：

　　There were 25 cows on the farm that my grandfather had to milk every day. It was hard work for my grandfather。

　　可以改为：
　　My grandfather worked hard. He had to milk 25 cows on the farm every day。

　　更简洁的句式为：
　　My grandfather worked hard milking 25 cows daily。

　　3. 把从句改为短语或单词。例如：

　　Dairy cows were raised on the farm, which was located100 kilometers from the nearest university and was in an area that was remote。

　　简介的表达方式为：
　　The dairy farm was located in a remote area, 100 kilometers to the nearest university。

　　4. 仅在需要强调宾语而不是主语的时候，才使用被动语态。例如：

　　In the fall, not only did the cows have to be milked, but also the hay was mowed and stacked by my grandfather's family。

　　本句不够简洁的原因是本句的重心应该是“忙碌的家庭-my grandfather's family”，而使用了被动语态后，仿佛重心变成了cows和hay。下面的表达方式是主动语态，相对来说更简洁一些：

　　In the fall, my grandfather's family not only milked the cow but also mowed and stacked the hay。

　　5. 用更为精确的一个动词来代替动词短语，例如下面这句话：

　　My grandfather didn't have time to stand around doing nothing with his school friends。
　　Stand around doing nothing其实可以用一个动词来表达，即loiter：
　　My grandfather didn't have time to loiter with his school friends。

　　6. 有时两句话的信息经过组合完全可以用一句话来简练地表达，例如：

　　Profits from the farm were not large. Sometimes they were too *all to meet the expenses of running a farm. They were not sufficient to pay for a university degree。

　　两句话的信息可以合并为下面这句更为简洁的句子：

　　Profits from the farm were sometimes too *all to meet operational expenses, let alone pay for a university degree。

雅思作文修改一秒钟变高分

雅思作文以“内容”，“逻辑结构”，“语法的准确使用和范围”以及“词汇量”作为评分标准，我们要获得雅思作文高分，就要以这四个方面作为准备重点。来看看下面这篇雅思作文范文是怎么修改的吧。

雅思作文的评分标准包括四个方面：

Task Response

Coherence and Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

雅思的4Gates就是其评分标准，分别为“内容”，“逻辑结构”，“语法的准确使用和范围”以及“词汇量”四个标准。根据下面的全面修改案例，读者可以清楚的看到一篇5.5分的雅思范文是如何在修改之前蜕变成为高分作品。

Cambridge 8 – Test 2

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?

Has this become a positive or negative development?

原文：

Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology.

Yes, the technology has changed the people’s interaction in very enhanced manner. Earlier people use to wait and try to find easy way to contact their friends or relatives leaving far. In past there was no quick technology to contact or to establish any communication between one person to another person. The drawback with past communication systems was that it were very slow and were time taking process such as telegrams, letter etc. People used to afraid to write their personal feedbacks or things to their love ones due to insecure medium of communication. When it comes to professional level, the privacy and accuracy should be maintain but, to that time there were no secure communications.

Now the things have changed around, people from far distance contact their loves one in an easy and quick ways which improves the interaction level between two person. Quality the level of the interaction between people to people, has improved because the people are equipped with high-tec technology which enhances the communication. There are many many medium which are available now such as internet, called cards etc.

The technology has provided the mobility faster which help people to talk or to interact at any time anywhere in the world.

People can contact their friend or relatives any time they want. It has become so easier and feriendly to be in touch with your feriends, relatives even with the unknown people.

原文翻译：

今天，由于科技的发展人们相互交流的方式也发生了变化。

是的。技术改善了人们的交流方式。以前人们总是期待找到方便的方法联系居住在异地的亲朋好友。以前没有高效的技术帮助人们沟通交流。以往的通讯系统的问题是速度慢，费时间，比如：电报和信件等。在过去，人们不敢给爱人写一些私密的事情因为担心通信不够安全。专业的通信技术应该是安全的、准确的，但是在当时根本没有安全的通信可言。

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