雅思作文“论证”的秘诀雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

更新：2023年05月03日 21:45 雅思无忧

雅思考试主要是通过对考生听、说、读、写四个方面英语能力的考核，综合测评考生的英语沟通运用能力，实现“沟通为本”的考试理念。对于雅思考生来说，也有很多考试难点和政策盲区需要帮助解答。今天雅思无忧网小编准备了雅思作文“论证”的秘诀雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失，希望通过文章来解决雅思考生这方面的疑难问题，敬请关注。
雅思作文“论证”的秘诀雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

雅思作文“论证”的秘诀作文并不是讲道理

雅思大作文考的是议论文，即考查考生是否能够在相对较短的时间内搜集论据，具体地论证自己的观点。另外，大作文的话题范围也很广，*社会、工作、经济、科技、教育等话题都会考到。但对于长期接触国内英语学习的学生来说，在写作时仍然会摸不着头脑，无处下笔。因为中国考生很少考虑这方面的问题，学校老师也很少鼓励对这些社会话题进行讨论，造成考生想问题往往只能按照固定模式，因而论证非常空洞、缺乏说服力。

中国考生在应对雅思作文时喜欢通过讲道理来说明问题，但话题中并不是所有题目和内容都可以通过道理来说服他人的，比如关于“anti-social behavior”, 属于道德范畴的话题，是很难用道理来讲清楚的。所以，建议考生在备考时需要加强论据论证的能力，使其能够很好地支持自己的观点。

那么，应该如何对大作文进行有力的论证呢？最常用的方式就是解释和例证，几乎在每一篇雅思大作文中，都可以看见这两种论证方法的身影。

如下面关于“work at home or study at home”的一段例证：

IBM, one of the business giants, has saved nearly 70 million US dollars in its northeastern region by promoting telecommuting, which has been a driving force to other enterprises to convert their normal working staff into telecommuters. Companies in Japan are one of them and plan to launch the scheme in 2009, which, in turn, spiritually wins more supports from the existing employees, and attracts new hires. 这段话中的2个例子（商业巨头IBM和日本的企业计划）都较好地完成了“若员工选择在家上班，会对公司带来积极的作用”这一证明。

此外，提醒考生们需要注意的是，雅思大作文明确指出“give reasons or examples from your own experience”, 这里的“your own experience”和“your personal experience”是完全不同的概念。前者是指通过个人的学习和总结而获得的经验，后者是指个人经历或周围某个个体的故事。如谈到“working hard produces better results”, “your own experience”的例子一定是“some 3-year-high school students usually stay up late to review lessons and prepare for next day classes”, 而“your personal experience”的例子则应该是“my roommate, Tony has always been working hard on studies and staying up late every night”, 不难看出两者的区别。故雅思大作文是不能使用个人案例的论据的，这一点与新托福(课程)的写作也是不同的。

另外，数据论证也是一个重要的方法，同时也是国外文章中非常常见的。使用这种方式，需要注意两点：数据和数据的来源。数据的真实性不重要，但至少要看上去是“真实的”。如：A survey by the latest Ministry of Labour’s opinion poll shows that more companies would like to open their doors to disabled people, as long as they can access to modern technology, and the rate has been increasing every year by 5% since 2003.

使用数据论证，提醒考生们不要刻意将数据夸张，这样反而会降低数据的真实可靠性。常见的句型有“a survey by….shows that / a research by….finds out that / a study by….suggests that / Statistics by….conclude that…”省略号的部分是需要根据文章的内容来填写的数据来源出处或机构。常用的机构包括：国外大学、学院、报纸、杂志、电视台、之声、网站、研究机构、民意调查等。我们按顺序给大家做一个示范：the University of Sussex, Business College of several European countries, the USATODAY, state media CNN, BBC Talking Point, , American Institute for Research, Harris Interactive Poll等，考生可按照自己的情况，来准备几个备选方案以供使用。

第三个常见的论证方法要数对比论证了。对比论证可以是一个东西或行为的正反面对比，也可以是一种现象的时间前后的论证。如下面关于“是否moving to regional areas”的例子：

Staffs used to complain about the crowded offices shared with climbing number of colleagues, the acute shortage of parking lots, the expensive luncheon, and the tedious civic landscape filled up with cement, steel rods and ceramic tiles. Now, companies can move to larger spaces, like industrial parks in the regional areas equipped with more personalized facilities, ranging from regular shuttle bus service, areas for relaxation, and more comfortable meeting rooms to hold a larger group of audience.

使用对比论证法可以让段落的内容和字数大幅度提高。上面的这段论述，完全可以只写搬迁到郊外办公后对员工的利益；但是增加了前面“staff used to…”的内容，能够加倍体现迁移的好处，前后形成一个鲜明的对比，增加文章的说服力。不过，需要特别注意的是，若使用不当，对比论证也可能让文章变得乏味。比如上面的例子中，在“staff used to…”这段文字中讲到了员工的种种抱怨（停车车位紧缺、午饭昂贵、办公室狭小等），如果在后面的利益中接着谈搬迁到郊外后停车车位不紧缺、午饭便宜、办公室宽敞等内容的话，大家不难发现这样的论证其实是很无趣的。所以选择对比论证法一方面可以增加论证的内容，另一方面也加大了考生寻找论据的难度，也就是说考生需要找不同方面的内容填塞到对比论证中。

以上介绍了几种比较常见的论证方法，希望考生们能够在大作文中以充分的论据进行论证，避免整篇文章都是空洞的大道理。

雅思作文修改：传统文化在流失

　　对于雅思写作而言，写完了修改的过程才是雅思写作中重要的过程，为此小编特收集整理关于传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改，分享给大家，希望对大家有所帮助，文中观点仅供参考。
　　题目：As the development of modern science and technologh,some aspects of traditional culture are being lost, so some people think that the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern science and technology such as computer or internet, what is your opinion?
　　原文：
　　It has been widely noted that some aspects of tradional cuture are being lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technologh will be replaced by the modern one for several reasons as follows,
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technology always combines with low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　My second reason is based on the high fees used to protect the traditional culture. Government provide a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors, never thinking of their uselessness for accomodation. If the money used to protect these buildings is delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accomodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer the modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first century has seen a great deal of development in the proportion of people who have taken the high education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　I want to ask what aspects I should improve if I want to get 6.5 in writing?
　　修改：
　　It is widely noted that some aspects of traditional culture
　　has been lost along with the development of modern science. As far as I concerned, the traditional culture and technology will be replaced in this modern erafor several reasons.
　　My first reason is that the traditional culture is hindering the development of new science which can improve people's life. Traditional technologies are always considered to be low efficiency. Suppose if the scientists are still using cars to go abroad and attand meetings, the cloning technique will be found many years later, and consequently, a lot of patient have died.
　　(this doesn’t make any sense, going abroad by car is nonsense, and it has no relationship to cloning technique, patient’s death is not necessarily as of the result from the delay of commuter.) Recommendation: revise and think of a more persuasive reasoning and logics.
　　My second reason is based on the high cost used to protect the traditional culture. Government provides a huge amount of money to rebuild or decorate the old buildings just because they were built by our ancestors; they seldom
　　considered their usefulness for accommodation. If the money used to protect these buildings was instead delivered to the poor, a lot of them will solve the accommodation problem.
　　My third reason is that people prefer modern science and technology with the increasingly improved education system. Twenty-first centuries has been seenhigh the proportion of people who have taken the higher education. They are more willing to use the modern science. For instance, college student always collect their thesis materials by surfing the Internet instead of borrowing books from the libraries.
　　All in all, although traditional culture is a heritage from the ancient, it couldn't keep pace with the development of society. The traditional culture and technology have no place in the future and will be eliminated in the end.
　　以上就是传统文化在流失的雅思作文修改的全部介绍，希望对大家有所帮助，最后祝大家都能考出好成绩。