求批改雅思作文 修改雅思作文

求批改雅思作文 修改雅思作文很多朋友对这方面很关心，雅思无忧整理了相关文章，供大家参考，一起来看一下吧！

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• 1、求批改雅思作文
• 2、雅思作文修改
• 3、修改雅思作文

求批改雅思作文

题目:some people think that in urban areas, old buildings should be destroyed
and replaced with modern buildings. Others, however, argue that old buildings in
cities should be protected. Discuss both these views and give your own
opinion.
正文：In modern cities, old buildings are everywhere while new buildings are
built every day. Some people think that old buildings should be replaced by modern
buildings(避免重复应该用: ones),but others think that these buildings should be protected.
One of the main reasons for destroying old buildings is the dramatically
growing population in urban area. Most of old buildings are six floors high, by
comparison, the new buildings are twice as high as the olds. So the new buildings
can (hold more people to live in 要改为: provide people with more living space). Another reason is that a large number of old
buildings are (可以加上structurally) unsafe. The methods and materials they used to build the buildings
are(were) not advanced. And the pipes and wire(wires) in the buildings are too old for people
to live. People must spend plenty of money to fix them for the frequent
damage(damages).
On the other hand, however, some old biildings(buildings) are gorgeous(可以如楼上朋友的建议用: uniquely built 但不改也没有问题。) and very
difficult to copy, such as the Forbidden City. These buildings attract millions
of tourists to visit every year. It brings us a sense of national pride and
government can gain a huge amount of economic profits which coule(could) be used to
support medical services and education.
In conclusion, although modern technology has brought us many remarkable
buildings, some old building(buildings) are as precious as them. Therefore, the buildings of
historical importance and high artistic value should be protected. Other
buildings which are dangerous and may cause problems should be destroyed.

文章写得极好，只有少许错漏，已替你更正好了。
很希望我的回答会对你有帮助。如有不明白，可以再追问，若满意请采纳，谢谢你，并祝你进步!

雅思作文修改

这次就文笔和写作习惯提些意见吧。

contemporary society，这种说法我是从来没在英国的任何刊物或网站上见过，在中国人写的人雅斯文章上倒是见了一大堆，一般都是modern society

a series of，感觉多余，去掉

have become controversial problems，controversial在这里不合适，意思不清楚，去掉或者换一个词

debatable issues，在这里用controversial换掉debatable倒是比较合适

whether criminals should accept education and job traning，这里不能用accept，感觉像是罪犯可以选择是否接受教育而不是我们选择是否给予他们教育，换成should be offered

Then I will give，去掉Then

the crime rate，去掉the

can alleviate，去掉can

While treating hardened criminals，把while换成meanwhile，把hardened换成habitual

will only traumatise，换成现在时

整体来说5到5.5分吧，篇幅还是偏短。

修改雅思作文

呵呵，你写作好勤快啊，这个比上次那个好点。不过字数还是不够啊，差50多，错别字呢有coutries theme thier theority opion。
开头转述一下可以的，break就是休假的意思，不用加rest，你的观点是承认这些活动是有利的。
论据的时候，我发现你可能是理解错了In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. 在高中毕业到大学开学之前的这段时间，不是大学期间的实践活动。
不过论据是比上次好的。
结尾段，大学更需要好的自学和交际能力是不错，但是没有和论题联系起来啊，这个和打工，外出旅游怎么联系呢？
如果你还会重写这篇，记住Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to this.你可以写，1.外出旅游。好处，拓展视野，增加见识，认识更多的朋友。坏处，会耗费经济。独自旅行会有一定危险性。2.打工，优点，挣钱，实际工作经验，如与专业相关，对大学学习有帮助，缺点，较低酬劳，辛苦。

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