哪里培训雅思小作文范文 雅思小作文

4.5到5分左右。结构把握的还可以，但是你重要的thesis（概括你文章主要内容的句子，第一段的最后一句话）没有写肯定会影响分数的。
其他问题：
1.如楼上所说，语法比较混乱。比如第一句话，"in England"放的位置不对，表达过于中式话。
2.雅思小作文的一个得分点在你把重要的数值罗列出来，这篇作文里太少了。比如“the largest portion of electricity usage”后面可以打括号或者用其他方式表现具体数值。
3. 如果分数想提高需要扩展词汇量。

下面以剑桥模拟题第五套Test two Task one 为例，看看小作文的写作内容。
The first bar chart compares the percentage of reasons for study according to age of students, while the second one indicates the percentage of employer support by age group in terms of time off and help with fees.
As can be seen clearly, there is a gradual decrease with age in study for career, decreasing from as high as 80%, the top, under 26 to short of 20% of those over 49. In stark contrast, the percentage of students studying for interest increases steadily/ significantly from 10% for the youngest to 70%, the peak, for over 49 group, over three times of that of study for career. It is noticeable that the two motivations draw even at 40% for 40-49 year olds.
It is apparent that the youngest age group under 26 receives the most support from their employers, at approximately 60%. However, this sponsoring reduces *oothly to the bottom at roughly 30% of the middle age 30-39, before ascending remarkably to 41% again for those over 49.
In conclusion, it is likely that young people mainly study for career so they get the more support from their employers. （189 words）

从上面可以看出，第一段通常是直接点题，改写题目就可以了。主体通常分为2-3段，主要是数据的描述和比较，如果是两个图的话，一图一段就可以了；如果是单图的话，需要按照比较的层次进行分段。最后一段对图表进行总结或总的概述就可以了。